Wednesday, September 26, 2007

What was your first real love like?

What was your first love like? I don't mean that boy in kindergarden that you made goo goo eyes at or even sat in the back of the bus kissing while his other girlfriend kissed his other cheek nonstop. (Guilty) I mean your first grown up head over heels in love experience? Did you marry him? You don't have to mention names because I'm not. The Internet's a small world. I didn't marry my first love, but I've never forgotten him although I've tried. I joined the Air Force to get away from home, from my Dad, and just to explore the world. I had broken up with someone recently, and I was enjoying being free. I wasn't in the market. I was happy being independent down in all that glorious Mississippi sand and sun. Then he looked at me - we were on the beach playing football. When I say "we" I mean the Drum & Bugle Corps. We were a close group and we always had a blast. I don't think I'd taken much notice of him before as he was an "older man". By that I mean he was 23 to my 19. LOL He swaggered over, put his arm around me, and we became inseparable. Well, not at first. I remember I tried to resist, but like the Borg, resistance was futile. He wouldn't give up and kept being sweet and attentive. Soon, I was blinded to all other men but him. He made me feel things I'd never felt. It was so very awesome. Unfortunately, it was the Air Force and we were committed to go our separate ways after a few months special training. I went to my base and he went to his - half way across the country. I was absolutely heartbroken. I didn't hear from him for almost a year. I tried to forget him, and even though I dated a couple other people, I was just going through the motions. I longed for him and only for him. Like an idiot, when I received his one and only letter, I was so furious by that time, I responded by biting off his head. I thought I was sending him back to a happier life without me and I thought I could go on with my life and just forget him. I lied and told him I didn't love him and didn't want anything to do with him. Romantic that I was, I thought he'd rally. (Heroes ALWAYS do that in the romance novels, and the naive 19 year old I was, had grown up on those things.) Ha! He didn't. Maybe I crushed the poor guy. I hope not. Or maybe he'd only wanted to return to me because he'd broken up with someone else. Now I'll never know. I probably don't deserve to know. Still, I can't forget him and no one else has evoked the same wonderful feelings. Your turn.

2 comments:

Cathy said...

My first love was a boy I met on a family vacation when I was 17. Wrong time, wrong place, wrong age. But that feeling of connection and physical awareness that I felt with him, I never really felt again with anyone else. Always made me wonder, what if?

Ashley Ladd said...

I wonder... Do we just feel these things because they're the first? Or are they special?

The one I described wasn't the first man I dated, or kissed, or even dated steadily.

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