Sunday, May 18, 2008

Interview woes

Last night's interview - my part - was a disaster. It was not the show hostess's fault.

How much do I say? DH became irrational (aka accusing me of keeping him up when he was tired, yelling, screaming, being mean in general) when I asked him whether I should go to Borders or if I could have quiet in our bedroom for a couple of twenty minute intervals between 8:55 and 11 pm. First at 8:55 and again when it was my turn to be interviewed around 10:10 - 10:30 approximately.

Unfortunately, with a houseful of children - older children that do not go to bed early on a Saturday night but who don't have cars to go out, either, there's no quiet place in my house. I've tried in the past to bribe, threaten, and sweet talk the kids into being quiet - the more I plead with them to be quiet, the louder they get, I think just to piss me off. They definitely have their father's genes.

I thought about going to Borders, but then recalled how it's usually not that quiet there, either. The last time I went there to get quiet to do an interview, a HUGE group of friends showed up (between 10 and 20 people) and make a huge ruckus in the back room. The cafe's always pretty loud. So I figured that wasn't a viable option.

So, fuming at the DH (d does not stand for "dear") I went to my car. But then, I remembered I couldn't get online, and worse, my old laptop will hold a charge for half an hour if I'm lucky. I kept the laptop off until it was my turn as it powers down so fast. That didn't work well. I don't think the hostess was pleased - I'm so so so so sorry. My printer hasn't worked in months so I couldn't print off my excerpt ahead of time like I wish I could have done.

Then the hostess kept saying to use a land line, not cell phones, for the interview. DH gave up our land lines years ago. We only have cell phones.



I don't understand why hubby couldn't forego sound on the tv for twenty minutes, maybe an hour. Or why my talking on the phone would interrupt his sleep. He rarely goes to sleep before midnight anyway. If I had a normal, nice DH, maybe I could understand. But this is the man who gets phone calls till midnight and after for his umpiring/friends/etc and doesn't seem to care if I'm trying to sleep because I have to get up for work the next day. It's also the man who keeps the tv on till midnight and after when I also have to sleep so I can get up early for work the next day. It's also the same man who came home last night and changed the TV on me (without asking or saying a word) so he could watch his show when I had it on my channel watching something. When I stood up for myself, then he tells me how selfish I am.

It looks like I won't be signing up to do any more live interviews. It makes me wonder if it's even worth writing any more books since he gives me such a hard time to promote them. He yells and screams if I spend money on promotion, but then when I get a promo opportunity, he still yells and screams.

If I was still participating in an MLM scam where I was threatening our house, our future, by getting us deep into debt, by scamming unsuspecting people into front-loading inventory, by spending all my time on a worthless venture, I could understand DH's melt down last night. But my writing earns money, I do it around his schedule, this was an absolutely free promotional spot, and I'm not hurting anybody else. So I don't get it at all.

If I had enough money... I can't say it, but I'm sure thinking about it.

14 comments:

Kelly Kirch said...

It's okay to think it hon. I'm ready to go to bat for you too. In fact, I have a bat right here. Hold him still.

Kinda possessive huh? Controlling or just jealous of your time? You are a wonderful writer. This is important to you. And sometimes, Ash, you come first.

Ashley Ladd said...

Thanks Kelly.

I don't think he cares about my time. He just wants the tv, his bedroom, his phone ALL the time. If I were to go out of the house, he wouldn't care, so long as I wasn't bothering him. Perhaps that's worse than being jealous - just the opposite. I seem to annoy him.

Jan said...

I am so sorry sweetie! I really do feel your pain. You can think about "it" all you want. It's right at the top of my to do list...as soon as some money comes in! *sigh* Sometimes I just don't understand the selfishness and insecurity of our husbands. We sacrifice and do without so kids and spouse can be first on the list, but when we want to put ourselves first...that seems to be too much to ask for. Keep plugging away darlin'...your writing is what you enjoy so don't you dare think about stopping!
Hugs,
Jan

Ashley Ladd said...

Thanks, Jan.

Yeah, I'll have to keep writing as it's what I do and why punish me while stupidly punishing him and he doesn't care anyway. Guess I'm working this out in my head as I write.

Crystal Jordan said...

I am so sorry! I don't even know what else to say!

Ashley Ladd said...

Thanks Crystal. I shouldn't have said anything. Now, he just called and on the way home and he sounds nice and normal again.

Kati said...

Oy geeze!!!!! I'm sorry your hubby was such a putz about this interview and that the interviewer also gave you a hard time from her end. And I'm sorry your hubby isn't more supportive of you writing your books. You'd think he'd be happier with the potential for extra income. *sigh* Men can be such jerks! I hope he pulls his head out at least long enough to remind you why you married him in the first place. *wink*

Kaz Augustin said...

Don't worry too much, Ashley. As you recall, from the interview we did, the background noise hardly came through AT ALL! I didn't need to edit a thing.

Relax, put your feet up, and have a bit of a rest. But don't write off interviews. I thought ours went well.

Giggle! said...

*hugs* Heck! That's a bit of a worry!

I'd die of shock if my Hubby were like that to me!

I think I see where the need of RAT GiRL comes in now!!! *hugs* xx

Amarinda Jones said...

Any time you're ready call me and we'll go look for the spaceship supplier. He has a lot to answer for.

Ashley Ladd said...

Thanks all.

Kaz, I think ours worked out because it was over Skype and I could hook up the special earphones/headset that cut out a lot of noise. Saturday's interview was over the regular phone.

I'll have to figure out what to do about future interviews. At one point I'd thought it'd be cool if I could host a show, but with my hubby, I think that's out - until we get a bigger house where I can get at least one room to myself or some of the kids grow up and out.

Ashley Ladd said...

Giggle - I'm ready now for Rat Girl.

Amarinda - I'm also ready now for you and me to find the guy who gave those turkeys the space ships. Maybe Rat Girl can help us. :)

Ashley Ladd said...

Kati,

You'd think. But I don't think he thinks I earn enough from the books. Not lately anyway. I'm not 100% positive, but I think he feels in competition to earn more than me. I earn more from the day job, so he has to earn more from the second job than I do from my second job. I'm not positive, but that seems to be the case.

He also doesn't seem to see that he spends a ton of money on his umpiring uniforms and safety gear but he sure seems to notice if I pay for an ad here and there, sometimes only one for $15.

Molly Daniels said...

Hey Ashley, were our hubbies separated at birth? OMG...he sounds just like MINE! Hang in there hon...one of these days he'll wise up to the fact that your time is valuable and he'll be proud of you.

Or maybe they both need lobotomies?

Want one of my iron skillets?

You're in my thoughts and prayers sweetie:)

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