Saturday, December 27, 2008

Liar Liar

What do you do when someone lies? When you can't prove it? When it makes you look bad? We have a situation in my family where this is the case. There's been a rift in part of our family for 20 years. My oldest son is now stuck in the middle. The other part of the family is telling my son and his wife that we have not contacted them or tried to make amends. This isn't true. Ten years ago, I wrote a couple letters asking for forgiveness and if not forgiveness, at least for my in-laws to at least see the grandchildren, not to hold things against them. I got no answer except that they told my father they didn't want to talk to us. About four or five years ago, my husband called. He was told never ever to contact them again. Well, not so nicely. That's sorry enough. But now, they're telling my kids we didn't try, that everything is still our fault for not contacting them. Unfortunately, my son and daughter-in-law seem to believe them. I was ready to let this thing drop one way or another. I've hardly thought of it in years - what's the point? But it seems to me as if they're trying to play my son and daughter-in-law and grandchildren against me. I've told my son that we have tried to contact them, but he seems to believe them over us. My oldest son and his wife actually went up to their door a few years ago and now they're talking. They have more guts than us. Oh well... I really don't feel a loss over people who act like that. But I am mad that they're lying to my children and grandchildren. You'll also want to see what Amarinda Jones, Anika Hamilton, Anny Cook, Barbara Huffert, Brynn Paulin, Bronwyn Green, Dakota Rebel, Kelly Kirch, Molly Daniels, Sandra Cox, Regina Carlysle, and Cindy Spencer Pape are up to, so make sure to visit them also. :)

7 comments:

Nicole McCaffrey said...

Oh, Ashley. I'm so sorry you're dealing with that situation. I've had "issues" with my IL's for years. my MIL is the queen of snide remarks directed at me--but only when my husband isn't around. And he, of course, never believes that his sainted mother would or could say such things. Hah!

It's bothered me for a long time that my kids think the woman walks on water because of the act she puts on for them. This year, she slipped up and they got a good glimpse of what she's really like. And while my husband may not believe me, it helps to know that my sons do.

The only advice I can give you is this: the truth will always find its way out. Sooner or later your IL's will slip up or say or do something that will let your son see them for what they really are.

Sending good thoughts your way as you deal with this. As a friend of mine once said, "the only people you'll ever meet who are stranger than your own parents... are your in-laws!"

Cindy Spencer Pape said...

Hugs, Ashley. I'm sure your son will figure it out--after all, sooner or later he will realize which side raised him to be open minded and loving.

Sandra Cox said...

Sorry you are having to deal with this, Ash.

Amarinda Jones said...

You already know you can't do anything. People choose to believe what they will. Move on - you don't need this crap in your life

barbara huffert said...

Well that's just wrong, being that spiteful. You son will get it sooner or later and then your grandkids will too. Once they do, don't waste another second of your time on those people.

Brynn Paulin said...

What a pain. I hope your son and his family realize the truth quickly.

Ashley Ladd said...

Thanks guys.

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