Sunday, August 16, 2009

What is taboo in romance?

2008 society is a lot more accepting of things than we were in 1978 or 1950. When I was a kid, it was taboo for an unmarried couple to have sex and in particular to live together. Erotica and erotic romances were something I only found hidden in my dad's closet after my parents divorced. Homosexual relationships were even more taboo than they are now. Orgies were the thing of ribald jokes, but I'd never seen a book about them. MM and MMF romances are quite popular today. Still, a lot of people don't like them. I've been turned away from guest blogger spots because the host doesn't approve of or like MM romance. There was a time I thought MM and MMF was taboo. I thought I was being extremely naughty to read erotic MF sex scenes. When I began to write them, I felt even naughtier. For a long time, I felt traumatized by gay men and relationships. When I was 17, I was head over heels in love. We got engaged. And then my fiance confessed he was gay. Well, not gay, but "bi". And he had no intention of giving up his boyfriend just because he was marrying me. I was in utter shock. He messed with my mind and heart big time. What changed my mind? A couple years ago I became friends with a gay man who's been in a devoted, loving MM relationship for twenty years. He's one of the nicest, sweetest, and kindest men I've ever met. When he talks about his lover, it's always with a lot of love and respect. Their relationship is stronger, more loving than the vast majority of MF relationships I know. Now I know that my ex-fiance was a jerk. It wasn't because he was gay or bi. It had nothing to do with his sexual orientation. Once I finally let go my bias, I felt like a jerk. Who does it hurt if two consenting adults fall in love? If they commit to one another? I also realized that if one or more of my children turned out to be gay, I'd love them just as much. They'd be the same person they'd always been. Getting back to my original topic, I still have taboos: Incest. Rape. Torture. Sex with animals. But many SF romances involve shape-shifters: werewolves, dragons, and humanoids. I don't consider this bestiality and many writers and readers don't either. But some are questioning now if that's coming under attack and where the line is. What are your taboos?


Molly Daniels said...

I was actually amazed at how much I do like the MM storylines, as well as the menage.

In my own writing, I've discovered a strange tendancy to have a heroine who has either been raped in the past, or victim of an attack, and how she overcomes her frars/distrust/trauma and finds love/security/comapanionship.

Molly Daniels said...

And that's only in two recent manuscripts.

Stephanie said...

Very interesting post!! When I started writing...I was afraid to get too detailed...didn't want poeple to think I was a perv!! But then I started writing more sexual scenes and keeping them PG got!! I started adding more details and describing the actions better...and the end result was not what I considered to be's life...and a part of it that is exciting!

I have yet to write any MM, FF or MMF. I give you much credit for writing MM....I don't know if I'd have the courage to try...I'm a woman...I have no clue what it's like for two men together!! I'd be so afraid I'd get it waaaaaaaaaaaaaay wrong! I definitely do want to read a few MM stories. I always find it intriguing to read somehting that is different from my own life.

Unknown said...

Screwing around with a married man - not on

Website Content and Copy: Ashley Ladd, 2008.|Blog Design by JudithShakes Designs.
Graphics hosted by Flickr.