Snippet Saturday: Weaponry

Today's Snippet Saturday excerpts are about weaponry. I haven't seen 

the other authors' excerpts for today as I post this, but I imagine

most of their "weaponry" are classic like swords and guns.

My weaponry is a bit...different. Read on, you'll see.

This is an excerpt from my romantica comedy "Purrfect Justice" 

available at Ellora's Cave. 

“Officers in trouble at
Commercial and 44th!” Cole’s voice barked from the scanner.
Gunshots ricocheted in the background. “Need immediate assistance! Send
backup! Sniper on roof!”



Haley almost fell off her chair. Oh,
God. Her stomach flip-flopped as she stared at the little black box
crackling with static. Why did Cole have to keep getting into these dangerous
situations? Did he have a death wish? Or maybe she just worried about him more
than the others, and so it seemed that way?



She could help him again. A thrill
shot through her as she recalled the previous evening’s escapades. She’d
enjoyed thwarting the bad guy and saving a handsome man.



But she didn’t have the authority
to interfere. She didn’t have a badge, and she never would. Neither Superman
nor Batman had ever had a badge, nor any of a host of other superheroes. Not
that she was a superhero—just a concerned citizen. When she got right down to
it, Superman and Batman were just glorified concerned citizens, right? No one
had ever denied their help. Why should they deny hers? Cole had seemed grateful
the night before. Surely he’d be grateful again.



She studied herself critically in
her bedroom mirror, turning this way and that, pulling faces. She stuck her
tongue out at herself. Would he recognize her in this get-up? Could she get
away with it again? Should she change back into her Catwoman suit? 



“Car 85 is on the way. Estimated
arrival is ten minutes.” Sheila’s voice vibrated over the radio. Haley
would recognize her nasal voice anywhere.



Cole swore. She knew that he knew he couldn’t swear over
the police airwaves, but his voice was distant as if he’d covered the radio. “We’ll
be mincemeat in ten minutes! Get someone here sooner!”



“Will try.” An edge sliced
through Sheila’s professional tones.



Haley lived right around the corner. She could make it
sooner if she went as she was. She’d pray he wouldn’t recognize her wearing the
wig in the dark. She’d stick to the shadows. Stopping only to grab her keys,
not even her purse or identification, she ran to her car. But the stupid thing
coughed and spluttered. “Don’t you dare throw a hissy-fit now, Missy,” she
ordered, slamming the flat of her hand on the steering wheel. She cranked the
engine again, encouraging it to work. “Cole’s depending on us! You can do it.” 



But Missy either wasn’t listening
or didn’t care. Or maybe she was afraid of doing a little police work. Missy
backfired and died. A plume of smoke curled up from the grill that smelled
oily, gagging Haley.



“What now?” Cole needed her.



She spied Sher’s motorcycle. Did
she dare borrow it? Would her friend let her use it? Haley had learned how to
ride one in her academy training. She ran back to Sher’s apartment and banged
on the door.



Haley cut Sher off when she opened
her mouth. “”Keys now! I need your wheels. It’s life and death.” She held her
hand out, palm up under her friend’s nose. “I know how to ride a cycle. I
promise I won’t put a scratch on her.” She crossed her toes, hoping neither she
nor the bike got caught in crossfire. “I’ll owe you big time.”



Sher cleared her throat. “You
already owe me big time. So who’s dying?” 



“No time. I’ll fill you in later. Thanks!” She snatched
the keys and raced away, praying her impulsive friend wouldn’t follow her.
That’s all she needed was for her to get in the way or stop her. She jumped on
the cycle, and it purred to life as soon as she turned the key in the ignition,
thank God.



A few revs of the engine later, and she closed in on Cole
and Brad. It was another moonless night, so she could barely make out their
shapes huddled behind their unmarked brown sedan. At least she presumed it was
the cops and not the robbers. She stopped and hid the bike in a grove of palm
trees, and then slunk along the sides of the buildings so as not to be seen, so
she could scope out the situation. 



Someone had barbecued in one of the
nearby apartments and the scent lingered on the muggy air. It mingled with the
odor of several fast food restaurants dotting Commercial Boulevard, almost
nauseating her. The oil from the burger joints almost clogged her pores it was
so thick. She covered her nose and breathed through her mouth. 



Gunfire rang out, and she stopped
dead, not daring to breathe. The flash of flame had burst forth from the roof
of the mall. It was only a one-story structure, and she had a good view of the
man from her position. His focus was on the cops, and he hadn’t glanced her way
even once. She could sneak up on his rear and startle him long enough for Cole
and his partner to get the drop on him. Then she could sneak away, and Cole
wouldn’t even know she’d been there. 



Crouching low, she wound her way
through the maze of buildings until she came up on the sniper’s rear in the
alley sandwiched between the strip mall and a dark, eerie canal. Moonlight
glinted off a hubcap, beckoning to her. Even though it lay in a circle of
light, she chanced retrieving it. It could serve many useful purposes—a shield,
a weapon, or a noisemaker to distract the gunman. 



“Throw down your guns and come out
with your hands up,” a strange voice commanded, followed by an evil laugh that
cut straight through Haley. It wasn’t a voice she recognized, so it had to
belong to the shooter. “Do it now, or I’ll shoot! I have you in my sights.”



Heavy metal clanged on the asphalt.
Then the sound repeated. 



Oh, no. Both Cole and Brad
must have followed orders and were now at the criminal’s mercy. She didn’t trust
the man not to shoot now that he had the men at his mercy. Time was up. She had
to do something.



An idea popped into her head. She
banged the hubcap on the ground so that it sounded like a cymbal, and then
shouted, “Drop your weapon! We have you surrounded!” When she got him in her
sights, she flung the hubcap like a Frisbee with all her might. It knocked the
gun out of his hand as the bullet exploded in her direction.



She ducked and felt the bullet whiz
by her temple. Seconds later, she heard the gun clatter to the pavement,
followed by pounding footsteps and men’s urgent voices. 



“Get him!” Cole shouted as
footsteps hammered the ground closer and closer to her. He rounded the corner,
and she knew how a deer trapped in headlights felt. She froze for a split
second before panic propelled her to run. 



“Hey, you! Stop!” 



She’d sooner be kidnapped by aliens
than have him capture her. Adrenaline burst through her, catapulting her
forward. 



“Halt! By order of the police!” 



 Haley’s heart was about to burst, but she kept
going. She dragged the bike out of the bushes, hopped on, kick started it, and
sped off, kicking dust and rocks behind her. 



"Purrfect Justice" is available at Ellora's Cave.

Anya Bast
Vivian Arend
Ashley Ladd
Leah Braemel
Jaci Burton
Taige Crenshaw
Shelley Munro
Sasha White
Jody Wallace 
TJ Michaels
Victoria Janssen
Elisabeth Naughton

American Beauty - Why is it so hard to recreate a best selling book?

I asked the other day on this blog why sales might've been lower than I thought they should be for my M/M Christmas romance that released November 2008. Of course it could be the economy or Christmas shopping. Others said maybe M/M romance is getting glutted and/or finally dropping off. Ms. Jones said something to the effect of "Write another American Beauty." American Beauty is one of my biggest sellers, probably my number one. Like I replied in my comment, of course I'm trying, without copying it of course. It's hard to find the secret to a big seller. At least I think so IMHO. I try to write the best book every time I write one. I always try to top the last one. I've tried to recreate the formula for best sellers, but that doesn't necessarily work. Some others have a huge success with every book. Others have some books that stand out way in front of the others. American Beauty was an Eppie Finalist so that could be one reason why. It was good enough to final and it also has the Eppie logo. But I finaled with TWO books that same year. The other book, even though it was good enough to final and also had the Eppie logo, didn't sell nearly as well. In fact, the publisher didn't renew the contract. So those aren't the only two things that sell a book, either. Damn! So what is the perfect formula? Is it vampires? M/M? M/M/F? I wrote a vampire romance which is one of my poorest sellers. Some of my M/M's sell okay, but not as well as two of my M/M/Fs which also sold really well (The Perfect Gift by Total-E-Bound.com and Lady Makes Three by Ellora's Cave). In fact, American Beauty is a (stand alone) sequel to "Purrfect Justice" also published by Ellora's Cave. Purrfect Justice sold pretty well and I was thrilled when the judge at a court case I was almost on the jury for several months ago told me she read Purrfect Justice and loved it - in front of the other jurors and attorneys. Readers (and me) would get tired if I write American Beauty or The Perfect Gift over and over ad nauseum. And yet, I would love to recreate the magic that went into them. All I can do is study them. Dissect them. And try. But then, I'm trying with M/M's and M/M/F's like I tried with vampires and recreating and trying isn't always good enough. Suggestions anyone? REAL suggestions? American Beauty By Ashley Ladd Kirsty Engle is in shock when Bradley Miller, resplendent in a ball gown, feather boa, and tons of eye shadow, wants to rent her spare room. She can't understand why this obviously unavailable man makes her heart sing and her blood boil more than any other. Undercover police officer Lt. Brad Mueller curses his captain and the car thieves that are responsible for him being in such a totally ludicrous predicament. It's bad enough he has to dress like a babe, but he's received strict orders not to touch one for the duration of his secret mission, under threat of being fired from the force. This ladies' man doesn't know if he can stand his worse-than-death sentence - particularly after he falls for his sweet and very voluptuous landlady. As if all of that isn't bad enough, everything gets really crazy when Kirsty and her gay boss make a bet to see who can win his heart. A sizzling, hilarious romantic comedy. Review quotes for American Beauty by Ashley Ladd AMERICAN BEAUTY is a funny, off the wall romp. ~Carolyn, A Romance Review This story has likable characters, and a great supporting cast that will have you laughing out loud, and some sexy scenes that will have you lowering the air conditioner. ~ Five Roses out of Five ~ ~Dee Gentle, GWN Online Book Reviewer AMERICAN BEAUTY is incredibly humorous. ~Robin Taylor, In The Library Reviews

An Excerpt From: American Beauty

© Copyright Ashley Ladd, 2003.

All Rights Reserved, Ellora's Cave, Inc.

He must’ve dozed off, for he awoke with a start when silky hair caressed his cheek and a lace-covered breast grazed his arm. “Wake up, Sleeping Beauty,” a very sultry, husky voice crooned. “I brought home your favorite – Prime Rib and chocolate covered strawberries.” She perched on the couch beside him, leaning over him, her creamy breasts almost falling out of a slinky, frilly creation he was sure was illegal throughout the First World.

Had he thought of her as a sprite? Temptress was more like it. No, siren was the apt description. Those dusky aureoles peaked out at him again and his blood pressure shot sky high.

He swallowed hard, his pulse hammering and his breathing uneven. His cock sprung to full attention. He knew he should move away, make a joke, or do something to diffuse the dangerous situation, but he couldn’t. Not when she scooted back and rubbed against him, torturing him inhumanely.

She smelled of lilacs, vanilla, and strawberries. Then he realized it was an oddly smoky vanilla scent, and fresh juicy strawberries. He pried his gaze from her tight nipples and noticed for the first time how the dim lights flickered from candles on every surface. “Is it my birthday?” His voice crackled, sultrier than hers. His cock ached to get out of his palace and play. Down boy! It had only suffered a female drought for a few days, not the eon it felt like.

Kirsty licked her shiny lips, slow and languorously, her pink tongue just peeking out those luscious lips, promising pleasure beyond compare to any man brave enough to take up her invitation. And she undoubtedly invited him. But why? Until tonight, she’d been sweet and teetered on the shy side. Why had she morphed into this voluptuous seductress who knew all the moves, and flaunted her voluptuous body in sucking distance, to drive him so wild to forget himself and his mission?

Stars twinkled in her eyes and she ran a fingernail down his chest, which she let hover just below his navel, at the snap of his jeans. Her nipples strained against the see-through lace, taut little buds teasing him unmercifully.

He longed to touch the outer rim of her dusky areole, and his mouth went dry. He could taste it deep inside his mouth.

“What do you want for your birthday?” She leaned over him, and her bodice gaped open to give him a nearly full view of the gorgeous breast.

He sucked in his breath unable to tear his gaze from the perfect view. When she sat down again, rubbing against him, his shaft strained to be free. He didn’t know how much more torture he could stand. Never had he restrained himself before and he could barely remember why he needed to now. The female was not only willing, she was begging him to fuck her.

“Hungry?”

He almost fell off the couch, but rolled into her instead, increasing his pain to even more excruciating levels. “Starved,” he admitted, hoping she didn’t plan to tease and torture him all night like this. If she seduced him, as she surely seemed to be doing, he could succumb. Even Crowe couldn’t fault a red-blooded man for being unable to resist the lures of a nearly naked seductress.

“In that case,” a slow smile dawned over her face making her glow, “Open your mouth wide. I have something special for you.”

Available at Ellora's Cave

You'll also want to see what Amarinda Jones, Anika Hamilton, Anny Cook, Barbara Huffert, Brynn Paulin, Bronwyn Green, Dakota Rebel, Kelly Kirch, Molly Daniels, Sandra Cox, Regina Carlysle, and Cindy Spencer Pape are up to, so make sure to visit them also. :)