Computer serial killer? Or nervous breakdown?

I claimed I was going to be more transparent about the writing process - for me, anyway. I'm pretty sure a lot of it is personal and therefor unique for every writer. Of course, lots of things are the same, too. Maybe I'm crazy to mention this, or maybe I'm just plain crazy, but I had a bit of a mental breakdown recently. It wasn't a complete breakdown about everything. I got very nervous about a particular edit. It seemed like it was doomed. You know how my family swears I'm a computer serial killer - as in I kill defenseless laptops. I swear it's not on purpose but I'm beginning to believe I'm the Bermuda Triangle of computers. I flubbed on an edit from a brand new editor and brand new company (for me). So I got an email paraphrased like this: "Why would you do this?!?" That freaked me out. Literally. I didn't mean to do anything wrong, but I obviously had missed some stuff. Why, I'm not sure. So I was given another month to fix and return the edit again. But I was totally spazzing out. I felt like I was having a nervous breakdown every time I went to work on it. I'd force myself to do it, and then, the Bermuda Triangle struck again. I had a lot of work done, and my computer died before I had a chance to save it to a thumb drive or send it to myself on AOL. I hated to redo all that work when I truly believed I'd get my computer back in a few days. But a few days kept dragging out. When it finally returned, the repair company had wiped out my Word program. My husband and my son thought this free similar program would be okay so they didn't have to pay a mint for Word again (the repair company should've replaced Word or so my hubby claimed but they wouldn't). So, I opened my file on this new similar program. I couldn't see the Track Changes. And it added junk. So now, I was really freaking out and I begged hubby and DS1 to get me real Word YESTERDAY! Unfortunately, they took a couple more weeks. Remember when I got pneumonia and I couldn't do anything except throw up and have cold sweats? Yep, that was in the middle of all this as well. I was so weak for a month I could barely sit up or read or do anything. Finally, I thought I could get back into this edit. I slaved over it all one day, determined to get it done and back to my editor even though I was in dire fear she'd say she no longer wanted the book and wanted nothing more to do with me. Guess what? Yep, the computer died again! This time the monitor burned out as I was editing, before I could save my redone edits to my thumb drive or email it to myself (I never did get those lousy characters out or get Track Changes back so I had to start from scratch anyway). That was another couple weeks to wait for the new monitor to come in the mail and then for DS1 to install it. So, a one month edit took me months. I'm usually not like that. I've returned edits in a day and usually in a week. To say 2009's been lousy and I've been under a ton of other stress that may have contributed is an understatement. But that shouldn't matter. I'm supposed to be a professional. Somehow I managed to stay professional and hold things together for the day job. But that drained me so much I was dying by the time I finally made it home. Still... However, even though I'm a professional writer, and even though I know excuses are lame, I am at the end of the day human. Sometimes I falter no matter how hard I try to hold things together. I wasn't going to mention this. There seems to be an unwritten code among writers: don't talk about royalties - how many books sold or $ - and don't talk about things like this. But that reminds me of another organization I was in that controlled people by telling them "Fake it 'til you make it" and never talk about what's really going on in your business lest you scare others away. That sending out that was insidious mind control - they didn't want their reps comparing notes and finding out everybody was getting screwed over so they could keep screwing them over. Honesty's good. You'll also want to see what Amarinda Jones, Anika Hamilton, Anny Cook, Barbara Huffert, Brynn Paulin, Bronwyn Green, Dakota Rebel, Kelly Kirch, Molly Daniels, Sandra Cox, Regina Carlysle, and Cindy Spencer Pape are up to, so make sure to visit them also. :)

Repetitive words and phrases

Have you ever read a book where the author repeats one or two favorite phrases? Where it's something odd that might be cute or descriptive the first time but becomes noticeable the second or third and downright annoying thereafter, enough that it jars you out of the book, even though it may be an otherwise terrific story? I'm reading a great book tonight that I'm loving. A repetitive phrase is the only flaw I find, but it just jarred me from the story - again. I hope I haven't committed this sin, but I probably have, at least in the past. My wonderful editors and critique partners are very good at pointing out echoes (repeated words) and having me change them, so much so that I try very hard to catch them first. Still, I invariably get an edit where at least a couple are caught. It seems that many of us writers have favorite phrases or at least favorite words. One book I read a year ago seemed to be in love with the word "rueful". Another one with "akimbo". Another one yet with "insinuated". Once we know we've succumbed to a favorite word or phrase we can do a search and find to eliminate them. The thesaurus is our friend. Imagination even more so. I know it's damned difficult to write a book much less critique every single word, and yet, the more we do so, the more polished our stories and the better they are. But it's time consuming. Sometimes it's also annoying - and confusing. I've reread some of my stories so often, I #1) get bored with them and worse, #2) get confused whether I'm reading in sequence and need to change something or whether it's because I've read it so many times before I'm forgetting what part of the book it should be in. Oi! (one of my words I have to watch for). The more unusual the word, the more it glares in repetition. There are so many things to watch and worry about when writing a book. It's a big job and not an easy one. Not everyone has the patience or guts to fret over each and every word, to reread ad nauseum and then take criticism from critique partners, editors, reviewers, and ultimately our readers. Not everybody wants to be so detailed. At least I don't think so. Okay, I know so. My kids can't write a short story or essay without stressing and pulling out their hair and everybody elses' in the house. They act as if they'd rather have a tummy ache than have to write something for class. But I digress. Writing is both a detailed and creative endeavor all at the same time. You have to really love it to stick with it, especially for the pay most of us receive. With as hard as we work, with as much heart and soul that we put into our stories, it seems chintzy to criticize a work for repeating the same word or phrase, and yet this is the real world. Readers notice. They care. And they'll often speak out. So we have to be careful and not fall into this trap, even one story at a time.