Saturday, August 16, 2008

Google Keyword Tool - What the hell???

I'm blog hopping tonight, one of my favorite past times. Shush, don't tell my editor as I should be writing. I'll write in a few minutes. Promise. Anyway, I surfed to Tiffany Dow's blog about Basic Good Old Traffic Advice and read an article about Ad words at Google:

As I'm always interested in learning new things and in growing my blog, I checked it out. First, I entered the keyword "writer" and came up with at least 40 related keywords that sound reasonable. Second, I entered the keyword "mom", which I am, too. This time, I was in for a shock. Now, as an erotic romance writer, I didn't think I shocked that easily, but I wasn't prepared for the keywords that popped up. Here's fair warning about bad language, and some downright sick phrases, so if you don't want to read bad words, don't read on. Here are some that came up: "i fucked your mom" "mom gets fucked" "mom getting fucked" "moms fucking boys" "moms fucking teens" "moms teaching teens how to fuck" "hot moms fucking" "drunk mom" "mom fucks son" "mom fucks daughter" "granny fuck" "slutty mom" It goes on and on like this. I put in the keyword "mom", not "fuck" but you'd think it was the other way around. And NO, I did not select any of those weird or sick key words or phrases. Am I the only one that thinks this is weird? I'm still trying to make sense of what is a "lens", "hub", "knol", and how to link them to my domain. Obviously, I have some study and reading time to put in. That's if I want to use my time doing this or do I prefer to do it writing stories? I guess I'll save this blog study for days my muse won't come out to play. Can it ever hurt to self-educate? I tell you what - a lot of things I learned being a writer and promoting my work - has helped me in the day job. A lot of the things we do daily as writers - blogging, editing, writing, using Word, using spreadsheets to track sales/etc., research, designing and maintaining websites, and even surfing online and shopping online, come in handy. You'd be surprised how many people I know who don't know how to save a file as a different name. Worse, many don't know how to find a file, can't remember where they saved a file (I don't mean just every now and then, but all the time), delete a file, or email a file, much less know how to do more complicated things like add, sort, merge, format, or construct a formula or a form. Even if I never sold a single book, even if I didn't derive tons of pleasure writing, I'd still be way ahead because of my writing, both personally and professionally. Here's a joke to make you laugh. It's a groaner and on the raunchy side, but funny. Never Choke in a restaurant in the South Two hillbillies walk into a bar. While having a shot of whisky, they talk about their moonshine operation. Suddenly, a woman at a nearby table, who is eating a sandwich, begins to cough. And, after a minute or so, it becomes apparent that she is in real distress. One of the hillbillies looks at her and says, 'Kin ya swallar?' The woman shakes her head no. Then he asks, 'Kin ya breathe?' The woman begins to turn blue and shakes her head no. The hillbilly walks over to the woman, lifts up her dress, yanks down her drawers and quickly gives her right butt cheek a lick with his tongue. The woman is so shocked that she has a violent spasm and the obstruction flies out of her mouth. As she begins to breathe again, the Hillbilly walks slowly back to the bar. His partner says, 'Ya know, I'd heerd of that there 'Hind Lick Maneuver' but I ain't niver seed nobody do it!' You'll want to see what Amarinda Jones, Anika Hamilton, Anny Cook, Barbara Huffert, Brynn Paulin, Bronwyn Green, Dakota Rebel, Kelly Kirch, Molly Daniels, and Sandra Cox are up to, so make sure to visit them also. :)


Anonymous said...

LOL Ashley :) Okay, make sure you scroll down to where it says Keywords related to term(s) entered and it'll be a little more suited to what you're looking for. The first batch just randomly finds the most searched for keywords for either of those words, but the section section pairs them together - so you'll see:

writer mom
writer mother
mom writers
mom authors, etc.

Hope this helps! And thanks for blog hopping by :)

Unknown said...

all sounds too difficult to me - ad words and widgets. I think I will work on the principle of someone wants to read my blog they will and if they don't they won't.

Unknown said...

After I read further and saw we had to PAY for this service, I gave up on it, too. Maybe later I'll look into it again. This weekend my missions are to prepare for Tropical Storm Fay and finish making my first book trailer for Submissive Dreams, my release by TEB this Monday the 18th.

Sandra Cox said...

Enjoy your hopping:)

Trixie said...

What's a file? ;P

Phoenix said...

That IS shocking. It probably shouldn't be given the state of our world, but wow. An innocent search turned up all of that? Scary.

Unknown said...

Yep. Like you said, I guess it's expected given the state of the world. But I'm shocked.

Anonymous said...

Hey Ashley, what service do you have to pay for? Not the AdWords keyword tool! The WordTracker, yes - but the Google one's free and much better. :)

Unknown said...

Maybe I misunderstood. I'll have to look again. Thanks!

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