Friday, September 05, 2008

Hurricane procedure memo from management

Office hurricane procedure memo:

As we watch the progress of Hurricane Ike, the following are the office guidelines based upon the hurricane's intensity:

Hurricane Category #1

No excuse for being late. Leave earlier to give extra time to avoid fallen trees and limbs.

Hurricane Category #2

Due to the horizontal rain, you may wear jeans.

Hurricane Category #3

Whereas most of the area will be flooded we suggest you avoid wearing open toe sandals when coming to work. Canoes will be provided to get to the building safely without getting wet.

Hurricane Category #4

More than likely there will be no electricity. Given that, we will have manual typewriters available to all staff members. Please take extra caution and wear water-proof make-up if Category 4 or above.

Hurricane Category #5

Velcro will be provided to keep you attached to your chairs when the windows blow out. For those that survive, we will have chocolate cake at 3:00 pm in the kitchen.

Thank you,

The management

The hubby *thinks* Ike will be a cat 4 or 5 when he gets to us (like hubby is now a weather man).

The news tonight told us all our mandatory evacuation zones for Dade and Broward Counties. We're too far inland, but it doesn't feel like far enough. One mile more, however, and we'd be in the Everglades. There aren't exactly any hotels or shelters out in the Everglades. So we're stuck.

I really should move back to Nebraska. Yeah, we really did live there - years ago when DH and I were in the US Air Force.


Sandra Cox said...

That was hilarious.
Stay safe!!!

Molly Daniels said...

No; move to Indiana or Ohio! That way we could do signings together:)

And your realize that as a manager, you'll need duct tape to keep you in the doorway to prevent those workers from leaving for a little thing like a Cat 4, ha ha:)

Phoenix said...

So what happens to the gators during a hurricane?

Trixie said...

At least being inland, it will drop a cat or two before it gets to you. Hopefully, it wont get to you at all. x

Unknown said...

The gators all try to crowd in our house with us, Kelly.

Trixie, I'm only about 10-15 miles inland at most so I don't know if that's enough to bring it down much, but at least we don't have to worry about storm surge.

Molly, actually, I think I need leather straps or better yet metal chains to keep those workers in place and if any survive, heck, we'll buy them pizza AND chocolate cake.

Sandra - I'll post another funny hurricane joke for tomorrow. Like my mom said, it's better to laugh than cry. My part of Florida isn't dead center anymore although we're still in the cone.

Unknown said...

Molly - boy would I love to move back to Ohio or Indiana. Hubby won't let us - at least not yet. I'd love to do signings with you.

Although there was the best Mexican restaurant in Omaha - Ticos - that I miss in Nebraska... But Nebraska has worse tornadoes than Ohio, so I doubt I ever go back to Nebraska.

barbara huffert said...

Nebraska seems a bit extreme. Surely there's a reasonable compromise.

Unknown said...

Barbara - my vote is to go back to Ohio.

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