Sunday, April 26, 2009

Do you ever feel stalked?

I'm finally home from DD2's TWO softball practices and raced to sign onto Twitter - my new addiction. I find new blogs and articles and even a writer's chat going on on Twitter - I'm learning how to use it. I found this article about "Do Your Customers Feel Stalked?" The author mentioned going to a conference where marketers were giving away gizmos to get your email address and other contact info. The author refused most and when something came along she wanted - and took - she gave a phony name and dummy email address. How often have you done that? I admit it. I've done it a couple times. Like the author of the article, I don't want to get phone calls, mail, or even email from marketers. I don't have time to go through a bunch of unwanted ads. I don't have the patience. I want to look at and read what I want to read. It takes time even to delete emails when there's a lot and then I worry that I might accidentally delete something important. Or if I can't get to my email daily (this last week or two's been extremely busy and I've not had time to read and empty out my email as I should and it's filled up - I've missed at least a couple important emails - maybe more. I hope not.) I didn't get to go to RT this year even though it was was only 4 hours away in Orlando. I really wanted to. And I'd really love to go to Lori Foster's readers and writers' get together in Cincinnati again this summer. But I couldn't afford Orlando time or money wise. I'll have vacation again by June before Lori's event but money? I'm not sure. But I digress. I only mention the readers and writers conventions because they remind me of what the article's author was saying. There's always a lot of people pushing their books, passing out business cards, pens, bookmarks, etc. etc. And I do go knowing I'll come home with a lot of books and new contacts and friends. But which books do I usually buy? Who do I give my contact info to when I'm acting as the reader? Most of the books I buy at these events are from the people I end up hanging around with. The ones I eat meals with and chat to and go to see chick flicks with. In other words, the ones I make a real connection with. How many bookmarks can one person use? How many times will I look at a business card and follow it to their website? I'm more likely to do that from a blog or Twitter if the person's said something interesting. About the only promo things I can use a lot of are pens. I get tired of hauling an extra big bag home from events I know I won't use so lots of times I would dump half (or more) before my trip home. I have to wonder how many other people do that. I don't think I'm particularly unusual. I'm tired of the marketers that don't care about me as a person - and yes, I know it takes time to build relationships and there's only so many hours in a day. And yet, I'm human. I don't want to feel like a number, that if I don't buy the product, that the marketer doesn't care (even though they may be giving me a hard sell) because they know next person will, or the next. One of my auto buys is Holly Jacobs. I knew her when she was still publishing as Holly Fuhrmann. We were/are in the Dreamweavers writers loops together. She's always been friendly, personable, and helpful. She still is even though she's now famous. We still exchange the occasional email and follow each other on MySpace. I felt awful last week when I was so crazy busy with family stuff that I couldn't critique or even answer many emails and I read an email from my critique partner - who reads this blog - so I really want her to know I really value her and her friendship and our working relationship - all of it. (What a convoluted sentence - geesh!) But she asked me, probably teasing but maybe not, if I didn't need or want her anymore as a friend or a cp because I was now a famous author (I guess she meant because I had a book release at Ellora's Cave last Wednesday). I wouldn't drop a friend or someone I value because I have a book come out, or if I was ever to become famous. Someone stopped being my friend and stopped speaking to me when her first book came out with a big publisher and I think that's pretty cruddy. I refuse to buy that person's books or even to look at her web site. I'm sure she doesn't care. But this person acted the exact opposite of Holly who still has my loyalty. If someone does that to a lot of people, I doubt they'll do well in today's world of social media. Since I don't want to be stalked, I don't want to stalk, either. But it makes promo hard. As I said on writer's marketing loop a couple days ago, I often stay quiet on my loops when I have a new release or a good review or anything to do with promo if I don't have time to socialize. I'm afraid it will do the opposite of what I intend nor do I want to annoy people. So, if you Twitter, or if you're thinking of starting to tweet on Twitter, look me up. Leave me comments here and/or there. Let's honestly connect and converse and help each other with whatever. I'm at: You'll also want to see what Amarinda Jones, Anika Hamilton, Anny Cook, Barbara Huffert, Brynn Paulin, Bronwyn Green, Dakota Rebel, Kelly Kirch, Molly Daniels, Sandra Cox, Regina Carlysle, and Cindy Spencer Pape are up to, so make sure to visit them also. :)


Anonymous said...

I hear you on the busy-ness factor. Twitter takes up too many hours, but at least Tweetdeck and Tweetlater help me out.

Unknown said...

I believe you are absolutely right - some authors stalk their readers to the point that it's sad and pathetic to see them on every single chat and loop carrying on like a pork chop abotu a review...'we know, sit down, shut up - let someone else make a spectacle of themslves.' Just my opinions of course....

Molly Daniels said...

I went to the Twitter site and looked up you and the got confusing. I guess I'm not ready for it yet. I enjoy Facebook more.

I hope to make it to Lori Foster's this year too; I'll let you know.

Am getting ready to read your American Beauty this week:)

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