Great unanswered questions of the Universe

I've been pondering the great questions of the Universe. Please feel free to add to the list or to make comments. First, why doesn't Starburst make bags of Starburst candies in one flavor only? I love the strawberry Starburst and I can tolerate the orange and red, but I HATE the lemon Starbursts. I would buy so much more Starbursts if only I could get all strawberry. What's so hard about that? Huh? Starburst Corporation, take a hint! PornfortheBlind.org - Huh? You know that ".org" means the entity is a non-profit as in a charitable organization, right? Since when is giving someone porn charitable? I am an erotic romance writer, but it's for fun. I never thought of it as charitable. My day job is for charity, to feed, clothe, educate, and house people. I had to shake my head and laugh my ass off when I saw this in Scarlet Magazine. BTW, Scarlet magazine is extremely interesting and I think I'm going to sign up for a subscription. Also btw, my short story "Sticky Wicket" which Scarlet entitles "Male Shot" is published in the July 2008 issue of Scarlet Magazine. It's also posted for free reading on the TEB website. Why won't my insurance company not allow me to have ear surgery that I need to stay working in my day job and remain a productive member of society? I mean, once my hearing gets so bad I can't work in customer service or on a phone or with the public, I'll have to go on public assistance. How will that help anybody??? What are they thinking??? Oi!!! Why do husbands think they own the remote control? Why do they think it's okay for them to watch things on TV we hate but that we shouldn't make them watch things we like that they hate? If marriage is supposed to be 50/50, why do they think they're supposed to get control of the TV 99% of the time? Or 100%???? Why are gas and grocery prices getting so high? Is it like Scarlet Magazine suggests in their July 08 issue that wealthy UK bankers gave risky credit to US trailer park poor people to buy brick & mortar houses and when those people let the houses go into foreclosure, the world economy went into a tailspin? What about the greedy Middle East oil barrons? Don't they play a part??? And why aren't we using air cars? See my post last week. Why does my son's job give their long-time employees only 5-10 hours work a week and then hire new employees to do the same job??? Why does lightning strike more in Florida than anywhere else in the world? When is Florida going to drop into the ocean? Why did my builder give us such teensy tiny closets? If Captain Kirk (Star Trek) was such a ladies man, how come we were only ever shown one of his children? (David from the second or third Star Trek movie - Genesis, I think.) Surely he had more??? Where are the Vulcans and why haven't they shown their faces yet? Why do men still earn more than women for the same jobs at many companies? Why do drivers think tailgating will make people go faster? (Personally, I slow down to give even more space between my car and the one in front of me so as not to cause a chain reaction and also to piss off the person behind me who is pissing me off.)

Captain Kirk is my friend

Captain Kirk is my friend.














For real.

I am soooooooooo pumped. I mean it. I'm not being sarcastic.

I'm a huge Star Trek fan. When I was a teen, I was in love with Mr. Spock. I thought Captain Kirk was cute, but I was a Spock woman 100%. Now that I'm older, I like Kirk. Actually, as an erotic romance author of menage, I could see myself with Kirk and Spock (I mean back in their ST days).

I also happen to think Denny Craig (Boston Legal) is downright adorable.

Isn't it cool that we can be "friends" with all kinds of people, even Captain Kirk/William Shatner via the Internet? Specifically, through MySpace.

Okay, I'm not completely brain dead. Shatner only has about 57,000 "friends" on MySpace. He probably has a PR firm who handles all this. He probably never glances at his MySpace or FaceBook profiles. He may not even know he's got a profile on MySpace. It's time consuming to make friends on MySpace.

Still, it feels cool to say this, which means I'm a big nerd. I know. I'll be a Star Trek fan as long as I live, even if that's till 2000.

I think the law of 7 is neat. I'm sure you've heard of it, also known as the "Kevin Bacon Game".

For the few who don't know of this, it means that all of us on earth are within 7 people of knowing everybody else on earth. It's not so hard to imagine.

My ex-boss knew the Prime Minister of Jamaica who knew the Queen of England who knew the Beatles. Yeah! Just how many people do the Queen and the Beatles know???

So now I have a connection to William Shatner, to Captain Kirk, and through him to Mr. Spock, and through him to all the Vulcans and Klingons, etc. etc.

Have you heard the joke about "Bubba and the Pope"? It's one of my favorite jokes of all times. Here it is. Enjoy!

Bubba was bragging to his boss one day, "You know, I know everyone there is to know. Just name someone, anyone, and I know them."

Tired of his boasting, his boss called his bluff, "Okay, Bubba, how about Tom Cruise?"

"Sure, yes, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it." So Bubba and his boss fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom Cruise's door, and sure enough, Tom Cruise, shouts, "Bubba! Great to see you! You and your friend come right in and join me for lunch!"

Although impressed, Bubba's boss is still skeptical. After they leave Cruise's house, he tells Bubba that he thinks Bubba's knowing Cruise was just lucky.

"No, no, just name anyone else," Bubba says.

"President Clinton," his boss quickly retorts.

"Yes," Bubba says, "I know him, let's fly out to Washington."

And off they go. At the White House, Clinton spots Bubba on the tour and motions him and his boss over, saying, "Bubba, what a surprise, I was just on my way to a meeting, but you and your friend come on in and let's have a cup of coffee first and catch up." Well, the boss is very shaken by now, but still not totally convinced.

After they leave the White house grounds, he expresses his doubts to Bubba, who again implores him to name anyone else.

"The Pope," his boss replies. "Sure!" says Bubba.

"My folks are from Poland, and I've known the Pope a long time."

So off they fly to Rome. Bubba and his boss are assembled with the masses in Vatican Square when Bubba says, "This will never work. I can't catch the Pope's eye among all these people. Tell you what, I know all the guards so let me just go upstairs and I'll come out on the balcony with the Pope." and he disappears into the crowd headed toward the Vatican. Sure enough, half an hour later Bubba emerges with the Pope on the balcony. But by the time Bubba returns, he finds that his boss has had a heart attack and is surrounded by paramedics.

Working his way to his boss' side, Bubba asks him, "What happened?" His boss looks up and says, "I was doing fine until you and the Pope came out on the balcony and the man next to me said, "Who's that on the balcony with Bubba?"

* So how come I don't know Bubba? I'll have to see if he's on MySpace...