The Perfect Man

"27 Dresses" with James Marsden (sigh, swoon, be still my heart) and Kathryn Heigl just ended and I'm floating on a romantic crowd. James Marsden is such a doll. I've thought so since the first time I laid eyes on him in X-Men and then again in Superman Returns, but in this one in particular. But my topic, while inspired by James Marsden's character in "27 Dresses" isn't about him. It's about the romance in the movie. Jane, Kathryn's character falls in love with Kevin, James' character, despite the fact that he's sarcastic and cranky and been needling her. He's not the ideal of her perfect man. In fact, her boss George is her idea of the perfect man. But it's Kevin's kiss that sends her into orbit. It's sparring with him that makes her smile. When she finally gets her first kiss from George, it leaves her flat. It's not so perfect. This isn't the first time movies and books have explored this theme. Another of my favorite movies is "While You Were Sleeping" in which Sandra Bullock is infatuated with Peter whom she only lusts after from afar. Then she meets his younger brother, Jack, and falls for him. When Peter awakens from his coma and she gets to know him, she realizes he's not the perfect man he looked like. Jack's her perfect man. More realistic, at least somewhat (we hope) was "The Bachelorette" with Deanna. On paper, she said, Jeremy was her perfect man. Handsome, nice, responsible, kind, and in love with her. But her heart chose someone else. So how many of us have an idea of "perfect" in our mind? In particular, the "perfect man"? We joke about it, at least us mature women. But secretly I know I still want it. I imagine most of us do. How many of us have found "perfect"? Was the man we fell in love with the man we initially thought to be "perfect"? Does chemistry and love happen just because our minds tell us what the "perfect" qualities are? Just because we admire something or someone? Does "perfect" make our heart go pitter patter? Or do we end up falling in love with someone less than perfect? Someone who turns out to be perfect for us after all? Do we think of ourselves as perfect? I'm human and thus flawed. Do I want someone to love me in spite of that? Or perhaps because of my quirks? Hell yeah! To me, Kevin in "27 Dresses" is pretty darn near perfect. I think he's extremely cute, and I don't mean just physically. I adore his personality. I like a bit of sarcasm, at least his brand. When I signed onto AOL tonight, I clicked onto a link showing unlikely couples. I didn't know the majority of the so-called celebrities to judge if they were perfect for each other or not. A lot of them didn't *look* perfect together. Some looked pretty darned mismatched (i.e. Julia Roberts and Lyle Lovette). But true love looks within and souls meet. Outward appearance, something I think romance novels too often focus on, means nothing in the end. I mentioned in another recent post on another blog that I'm typically initially attracted to a certain physical type - tall, dark, and handsome (add a nice rich voice to that list). And yet, one of the most memorable men that I let get away was blond, blue-eyed, and not much taller than me, not at all my normal physical type, but definitely a good and attractive man in so many ways. So is the concept of "perfect", especially that of the "perfect man" a dangerous one? Does it cause some people to disregard someone who really could be perfect for them? I know my husband and the less than thrilled commenter on my short story "Brazen" thinks so.