LDS (Mormons) in the news - again

Oy!

Why does this keep happening? I see something like this about twice a year and I cringe every time.

"The fundamentalist FLDS sect has been sundered by a major state raid that by Saturday had brought out 183 boys, girls and women for questioning about their well-being." Read more: http://www.sltrib.com/lds/ci_8823648

The group is not considered authentically Mormon by the much larger Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, based in Salt Lake City. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints abandoned polygamy in 1890 and has never held some of the beliefs of the breakaway Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, which teaches that women are property.

This is an outlawed sect (the FLDS), not the real deal.

Let's lighten up now with Jeff Foxworthy on Mormons. He's pretty apt although I don't recognize a few of them. :)

> > > > >>This is to all of you that may be a Mormon, that may
> > > > >>know a Mormon, that may live in Utah, that may have
> > > > >>lived in Utah or have heard about Mormons.
> > > > >>
> > > > >>
> > > > >>If all your dishes have your name written on them with
> > > > >>masking tape...You might be a Mormon.
> > > > >>
> > > > >>
> > > > >>If you postdate your checks while shopping on
> > > > >>Sunday..................You might be a Mormon.
> > > > >>
> > > > >>
> > > > >>If you believe Heck is the place for people who do not
> > > > >>believe in gosh...You might be a Mormon.
> > > > >>
> > > > >>
> > > > >>If your Mom was pregnant at your sister's wedding
> > > > >>reception...............You might be a Mormon
> > > > >>
> > > > >>
> > > > >>If you pray that your food might "nourish and
> > > > >>strengthen your body" before eating
> > > > >>doughnuts..........You might be a Mormon
> > > > >>
> > > > >>
> > > > >>
> > > > >>If you think Jell-O is one of the basic food
> > > > >>groups......You might be a Mormon
> > > > >>
> > > > >>
> > > > >>
> > > > >>If at least one of your salad bowls is at a neighbor's
> > > > >>house.......You might be a Mormon.
> > > > >>
> > > > >>
> > > > >>
> > > > >>If you've ever written a "Dear-John" to more than two
> > > > >>missionaries on the same day............You might be a
> > > > >>Mormon.
> > > > >>
> > > > >>
> > > > >>If you were frustrated when your son "only" got
> > > > >>accepted to Harvard......You might be a Mormon.
> > > > >> (LOLOL - Harvard is soooooooo second to BYU or even Rick's in their eyes)
> > > > >>
> > > > >>
> > > > >>If you have one kid in diapers and one on a
> > > > >>mission..........You might be a Mormon
> > > > >>
> > > > >>
> > > > >>If you have never arrived at a meeting on
> > > > >>time..............You might be a Mormon.
> > > > >>
> > > > >>
> > > > >>If you have more wheat stored in your basement than
> > > > >>most third world countries....You might be a Mormon.
> > > > >> or in your garage and under your couches, end tables, and every surface you can
> > > > >>put a skirt over...
> > > > >>
> > > > >>
> > > > >>If you've already got your order in for volume 50 of
> > > > >>"The Work and The Glory"...You might be a Mormon.
> > > > >>
> > > > >>
> > > > >>If you think it is all right to watch football on
> > > > >>Sundays as long as a direct descendant of Brigham
> > > > >>Young is playing.......You might be a Mormon.
> > > > >>
> > > > >>
> > > > >>If you have to guess more than five times the name of
> > > > >>the child you're disciplining...........You might be
> > > > >>Mormon.
> > > > >>
> > > > >>
> > > > >>If you automatically assume that BYOB means, Bring
> > > > >>Your Own Burgers...You might be Mormon.
> > > > >>
> > > > >>
> > > > >>If you go to a party and someone spikes the punch with
> > > > >>Pepsi...You might be a Mormon.
> > > > >>
> > > > >>
> > > > >>If you arrive to an activity an hour late and are the
> > > > >>first person there............You might be a Mormon


And here is the deal again about my Fantasies Contest for anyone who didn't read it yesterday:

In honor of my soon-to-be released book WILD FANTASIES, I'm going to hold a second contest for the month of April 2008.

Tell me what fantasy you'd like to live out if you had your own holodec? Would it be to make love with a werewolf? A vampire? Or something completely different? (Mine are listed quite vividly in WILD FANTASIES. :) )

Whoever has the most fun or erotic fantasy (as judged by the most votes in the poll) will win a $20.00 gift certificate to Amazon.com from me. I'll post your fantasies in a poll for the month of April for my readers to vote on. Whoever gets the most votes, will win. I'll announce the winner at the beginning of May. Email it to me at: chinara@aol.com or leave it in a comment on my blog at: http://www.ashleyladd.blogspot.com/ (As my email box fills up some days I'm at the day job, make sure you get a reply from me or resend again if you haven't heard from me within two days. The sooner you get your fantasy in, the more votes you can accumulate. This means tell your friends and family to come and vote for their favorite fantasy, too.)

Also, don't miss my regular monthly contest at my blog. To win a free download book, leave me at least one comment during the month of April on my blog at http://www.ashleyladd.blogspot.com/. It's that simple.

Remember, if you vote, to leave a comment. That way you're entered for the second, monthly contest. The more times you comment, the more times your name will be in the hat and the better your chances of being selected.

Remember, WILD FANTASIES releases at www.total-e-bound.com Monday April 7, 2008. Woo hoo! I'm thrilled.

Also, y'all pop over to http://www.workitmom.com to see my recently published parenting articles - under my name of Ashley Ladd. One was just posted today.

TWO contests for April - here's the deal - what is your favorite fantasy that you'd like to live out if you had a holodec?

In honor of my soon-to-be released book WILD FANTASIES, I'm going to hold a second contest for the month of April 2008.

Tell me what fantasy you'd like to live out if you had your own holodec? Would it be to make love with a werewolf? A vampire? Or something completely different? (Mine are listed quite vividly in WILD FANTASIES. :) )

Whoever has the most fun or erotic fantasy (as judged by the most votes in the poll) will win a $20.00 gift certificate to Amazon.com from me. I'll post your fantasies in a poll for the month of April for my readers to vote on. Whoever gets the most votes, will win. I'll announce the winner at the beginning of May. Email it to me at: chinara@aol.com or leave it in a comment on my blog at: http://www.ashleyladd.blogspot.com/ (As my email box fills up some days I'm at the day job, make sure you get a reply from me or resend again if you haven't heard from me within two days. The sooner you get your fantasy in, the more votes you can accumulate. This means tell your friends and family to come and vote for you, too.)

Also, don't miss my regular monthly contest at my blog. To win a free download book, leave me at least one comment during the month of April on my blog at http://www.ashleyladd.blogspot.com/. It's that simple.

I look forward to receiving a lot of entries and having a big vote. So, send me your fantasies and I'll get the poll up. I can't wait to see what they are.

Blurb:
In her futuristic holodec sessions, one magnificent hero fulfils Jala's many wild fantasies, but can he be her hero in real life?

Lieutenant Jala Janguardo can't have her Captain Adam Carrington in real life so he becomes her werewolf in London, her Arabian sheik, and her intergalactic bar patron in her holodec fantasies. In real life, she might as well be part of the equipment for all he notices her. Or does he?

Excerpt from: Wild Fantasies

“It’s criminal to hide those supple nipples. I can’t believe I never noticed how sexy you are.” Captain Adam Carrington drugged Lieutenant Jala Janguada with erotic kisses, unzipped his pants, then fit her atop him without breaking the kiss. Strong, calloused hands helped her slide down his swollen, pulsing cock.

Unable to wait a second longer to mould her body to his, to be united body and soul, to rub her nipples over his, she tore off his shirt, delighting when the buttons shot across the room.

His incredible muscles rippled beneath her hungry hands. She massaged, teased, and titillated him until he pumped her as feverishly as she yearned to ride.

He quivered beneath her touch and she knew he was all hers. How heady the power! How earth-shattering the passage!

What a dream come true. Literally. And yet, still merely a dream. A holograph.

If only it were the real man making love to her, moaning in her ears, suckling her breasts, pulsing inside her. Not that she could imagine anything more erotic than how the holographic Adam made her feel, but she longed for the real Adam to love her with all his heart in return.

Of course, no real man would put up with her working as a topless waitress in an intergalactic bar, or let her parade around wearing an ultra-mini skirt without a pair of panties underneath, just begging to be fucked and fucked hard—in front of a room full of zringtwats and treaks—as she did on the holodec.

Nor would he whip out his cock and fuck her unconscious in front of them. The real Adam would be possessive and demand her all to himself.

In the privacy of the holodec, however, she could do anything at all, and no one would ever know. Holographic images didn’t tattle. They didn’t judge. They existed to fulfil her every whim and did they ever.

So she indulged in her hedonistic desires as often as she could schedule the deck. She could make wild love to the man—or even men—of her dreams anywhere, to her heart’s desire.

This particular program brought her the greatest pleasure—parading topless, practically naked in front of the most dangerous, sexiest men in the galaxy in only her scrap of a skirt and teetering high heels. She could even have two or three men at a time if she so wanted and she had played out that intriguing fantasy more than once.

She loved how their gazes devoured her naked breasts, how their cocks swelled so huge in their pants their jeans almost ripped apart, and how their hands crept under her wisp of a skirt to fondle her clit, to slide their finger inside her and make her come. There wasn’t a better fantasy job in the entire universe.

What she loved most, however, was how holographic Adam filled her with his hot cock, how he thrust in and out of her pussy as he was doing now, and how he intoxicated her with his all-consuming kisses. He drank of her as if he was dying of thirst.

She rubbed her burning nipples against his furry chest, wondering what it would be like to make crazy love to a howling werewolf under a full moon. Next fantasy, she promised herself she would program Adam to be a werewolf, even more of an animal than he was now.

On the brink of complete ecstasy, she raked her long nails down his back as she impaled herself on his sex. Her juices sheathed his cock so slickly she was able to slide to the tip of his shaft, then ram down hard on him and tighten her vaginal walls around his dick.

For a hologram, he was very sensual and very in tune to her primal needs. Much more so than the other holograms she’d screwed before getting the courage to program her own Adam.

Even when she’d taken two lovers at a time, one inside her pussy and one inside her mouth, they hadn’t come close to satisfying her the way Adam did—and they had been pretty awesome.

“I never dreamed you were such a vixen,” he murmured around a mouthful of her breast. “Every treak in the joint would pay monsonas to be me right now. They’re lining up to be next.”

The lava boiling inside her was about to erupt. She licked his ear as he so loved, and massaged his tight buttocks.

A wild man now, he growled and thrust impossibly deep just as she burst forth in climax, screaming. Good thing the holodec was soundproof and her programs were scrambled so that no one else could decode them.

When she caught her breath, she murmured against his ear, “I can’t wait till next week to make love to you again.”

His chiseled lips quirked into the most deliciously evil grin she’d ever gazed upon, and it made her stomach flip-flop. “You don’t have to wait another moment.”

He lifted her off his still pulsing cock turned her over and to her surprise, bent her over the table.

She squirmed against the tip of his velvety cock dripping with pre-cum.

“You’re so tight and wet, babe, just perfect to slide in and out. How bad do you want it? Bad enough to beg?” So he wanted her to beg? He wanted to hear how hot she was for him? Was he doing this to fulfill her fantasies, or had the hologram evolved sufficiently to have his own? Either way, she was thrilled.

** I'll be checking my blog and email for your fantasies. The games are on! Let's have fun!