Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Lonely Onlies

Can I scream now???

I hate to be insulted. I hate it when people threaten.

A donor just told me that she will not donate unless we put 50% of every donation toward birth control. She didn't merely say to put some donations toward it, but an exact amount.

Then she explained how people should only have one child, how she only had one child, and how she was able to feed and educate that one child because she was so responsible.

I held my tongue. I didn't tell her that I have five children thus I must be the extremely irresponsible devil incarnate.

I didn't tell her that I'm not Catholic when she kept saying, "I'm Catholic" as if I should agree with her because she's Catholic. Rather she probably thought I should disagree with her because I'm Catholic.

Why do people "assume"? I don't call strangers and speak about religion. I don't assign a religion to them and insult them because of their made-up religion.

Even if I wanted to change my organization's policy about birth control (we take a non-stance on this issue because it is so volatile and could affect donations adversely whichever stance we chose), I don't have the power.

I was nice and took her call after I was officially off work.

I did not appreciate the lecture but I was very nice and polite like all good little customer service representatives are trained to be.

I am still human, however. If you can read shorthand, you could read exactly how lovely I feel and how much I enjoyed speaking to this lovely, lovely person.

As per my thoughts on birth control, I am an only child. Another term for this is "lonely only".

My family had enough money to send me to college, but they chose not to. I worked and paid for my own education, all the way up to a Master's degree.

I don't begrudge paying for my own education. I probably value it much more than many people who got a free ride.

I do, however, miss having a sibling or two. I used to beg my mom for a brother or sister. I would have given away a free college education for one.

I'd still love to have a brother or sister. When my mother died, I felt so very alone. I so badly wanted a sibling to share this with, to walk into the future with.

I'm almost fifty so I will never have one.

I think a brother and/or sister is a very important person to have in one's life. Although my children occasionally fight, they love one another. They miss one another when they're separated. The older they get, the more they value one another.

Thus I do not see what is wrong with families who have two or three children - or more. I think families, especially big families, are wonderful.

You'll also want to see what Amarinda Jones, Anika Hamilton, Anny Cook, Barbara Huffert, Brynn Paulin, Bronwyn Green, Dakota Rebel, Kelly Kirch, Molly Daniels, Sandra Cox, Regina Carlysle, and Cindy Spencer Pape are up to, so make sure to visit them also. :)


Unknown said...

It always amuses me when people put conditions on their 'goodness' towards others

Unknown said...

That would irk me too! I can relate to your "lonely only" feeling. I'm also an only child. I yearned for a brother or sister growing up. Never happened. So when I had children I didn't stop at one. I had three so they didn't feel lonely.

Molly Daniels said...

Aww Ash...you have many sisters out here in cyberspace!

I had a younger sister and often wished I could be an only child! But it did come in handy at amusement parks...attendants hate it when there are odd mumbers wanting to ride! We now joke and say the only place we DIDN'T fight was Disney or King's Island, ha ha:)

Nicole McCaffrey said...

LOL well whoever she was, she isn't a very informed Catholic then. We don't condone birth control--the Catholic church teaches that God provides for any life he creates. Not that you could tell her that in a professional situation, but I just had to point it out. Rather than birth control, if she was a true Catholic she'd have asked for the funds to go toward teaching abstinence. *G*

Siblings. I have one and we're not close, so I've often wished there were more. I only have two boys myself--we tried for more but it didn't happen. My boys are very close, which is a huge relief for me, at least they have the sibling relationship I never did.

But I would have loved to have had three or four!

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