Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Damned Love Songs!

I turned on the love songs radio station before I started writing today. Big mistake. First, "Tonight's the Night" by Rod Stewart played. I love that song. That doesn't have any bad memories or a particular boyfriend attached so I turned up the station. It reminds me of fun times at the roller skating rink and cruising around Cincinnati when I was still in high school. But then "Reunited" by Peaches & Herb came on. Again, I love the song. But I associate that song with a particular boyfriend, the one I can't seem to forget thirty years later even though I'm sure he's forgotten me. I'm getting better. I go weeks, even months not thinking about him. Sometimes I feel all the mushy feelings are gone, that I've finally made it past the hurt and longing. And then bang! That song comes on and there he is, torturing me. It's probably my fault. He was trouble from the start. I should have run the other way when I saw him coming. Since I didn't, I should have taken a chance a couple years later when I got another chance. I'm pretty sure that would have resulted in nothing or even more heartbreak, but at least I wouldn't wonder for the rest of my life if we could have made it. Damn! Now there's a stupid Air Supply song on and I'm tearing up. "Making Love Out of Nothing At All". I don't exactly associate it with "him" usually, but it is from the same era (late 70's). Then as if that wasn't enough to bring me down and make me feel foolish, "You Don't Have To Be A Star" came on and finished me off. I associate that with my ex-fiance, the biggest jerk in the world (only rivaled by the hubby every now and again). There's no love or mushy feelings left for him. Just disgust and anger. It's hardly consolation that I was an immature 17 and a sucker for a cute face and attention. How can songs pack so much emotion into 3 minutes and so few words? I turn myself inside out for months, sometimes years, to put that kind of emotion into my 40,000 word lus stories. I should have left the radio on my daughter's acid rock station or just turned it off. I'm such a glutton for punishment. Maybe I will go and see "Star Trek" the movie again, even though I saw it yesterday. It's at the 99 cent theater across town. If I go now, I can drive by the dollar store for candy and then immerse myself in a lot of action, adventure, and good old fashioned fighting. I need something to get out of this sorry mood.

9 comments:

Sandra Cox said...

I think Star Trek is an excellent idea.

Amber Skyze said...

I hear Star Trek calling you!

Though I've often wondered why songs affect me so profoundly...much more than books.

Molly Daniels said...

There was a Trisha Yearwood song called 'The Song Remembers When' that pretty much explains everything:)

Yeah, I get choked up by Madonna's Crazy For You, Journey's Faithfully, and P&H's Reunited too...

Wendi Zwaduk said...

Okay, I'll date myself a bit - Eye of the Tiger makes me tear up because it reminds me of High School (We were the Tigers), Shout to the Lord makes me cry because it reminds me of a particularly rough time with my hubby and how we got past it, and Swayin' to the Music by Johnny Rivers reminds me of being three and dancing with my dad to the radio (it was our song and yes, we danced to it at my wedding - corny, yes, but still a favorite).

Stephanie said...

I have one of those "what if" old flames....and every once in a while I think I'm completely over him too...and then something pops up to remind me of him. I love my husband and we're happy.....but there's always that question in the back of my mind. And I know that he was never the right guy for me....but there's that tiny little part that will always wonder.

Stephanie said...

Oh and I think of him whenever I hear "Let Her Cry"- Hootie and the Blowfish...not so much the words or anything...but I remember an afternoon sitting with him and he played this song. If I hear "Lips of an Angel" by Hinder (newer song) those words do make me think of him.

The Bumbles said...

I agree with your excellent observation that songs can touch an emotional chord so quickly and it can take piles of words in a book to accomplish the same thing. But what I would really like to know is where exactly this acid rock station is. I don't think such a thing exists anymore! Around here they call it Classic Rock ;0)

Ashley Ladd said...

Molly - "Crazy for You by Madonna also played that day. I love it but it reminds me of "13 Going on 30" but doesn't make me sad. Although I wish I could get a do over like Jenna in the movie got.

Wendi - The Rocky Theme song reminds me of my high school, but doesn't make me teary eyed. I was in Flag Corps and we marched with the band. We did a routine to that song. Anytime I want to get pumped up, I think of that.

Stephanie - Wish I could forget my what if. I'm happy, I suppose, but maybe am guilty of thinking the grass is greener...

Amarinda Jones said...

If a certain song comes on I turn it off...simple. Deal with it by not dealing with it is my motto

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