Damned Love Songs!

I turned on the love songs radio station before I started writing today. Big mistake. First, "Tonight's the Night" by Rod Stewart played. I love that song. That doesn't have any bad memories or a particular boyfriend attached so I turned up the station. It reminds me of fun times at the roller skating rink and cruising around Cincinnati when I was still in high school. But then "Reunited" by Peaches & Herb came on. Again, I love the song. But I associate that song with a particular boyfriend, the one I can't seem to forget thirty years later even though I'm sure he's forgotten me. I'm getting better. I go weeks, even months not thinking about him. Sometimes I feel all the mushy feelings are gone, that I've finally made it past the hurt and longing. And then bang! That song comes on and there he is, torturing me. It's probably my fault. He was trouble from the start. I should have run the other way when I saw him coming. Since I didn't, I should have taken a chance a couple years later when I got another chance. I'm pretty sure that would have resulted in nothing or even more heartbreak, but at least I wouldn't wonder for the rest of my life if we could have made it. Damn! Now there's a stupid Air Supply song on and I'm tearing up. "Making Love Out of Nothing At All". I don't exactly associate it with "him" usually, but it is from the same era (late 70's). Then as if that wasn't enough to bring me down and make me feel foolish, "You Don't Have To Be A Star" came on and finished me off. I associate that with my ex-fiance, the biggest jerk in the world (only rivaled by the hubby every now and again). There's no love or mushy feelings left for him. Just disgust and anger. It's hardly consolation that I was an immature 17 and a sucker for a cute face and attention. How can songs pack so much emotion into 3 minutes and so few words? I turn myself inside out for months, sometimes years, to put that kind of emotion into my 40,000 word lus stories. I should have left the radio on my daughter's acid rock station or just turned it off. I'm such a glutton for punishment. Maybe I will go and see "Star Trek" the movie again, even though I saw it yesterday. It's at the 99 cent theater across town. If I go now, I can drive by the dollar store for candy and then immerse myself in a lot of action, adventure, and good old fashioned fighting. I need something to get out of this sorry mood.

You'll also want to see what Amarinda Jones, Anika Hamilton, Anny Cook, Barbara Huffert, Brynn Paulin, Bronwyn Green, Dakota Rebel, Kelly Kirch, Molly Daniels, Sandra Cox, Regina Carlysle, and Cindy Spencer Pape are up to, so make sure to visit them also. :)