It's time to pull the plug when

I, Ashley Ladd, being of sound mind and body, do not wish to be kept alive indefinitely by artificial means. Under no circumstances should my fate be put in the hands of pinhead politicians who couldn't pass ninth grade biology if their lives depended on it, or lawyers/doctors interested in simply running up the bills. If a reasonable amount of time passes and I fail to ask for at least one of the following: Chinese Take-Out

Sex Chocolate

Diet Cola

Skyline Chili Spaghetti Sex Mexican Food Chocolate

Shrimp

Lobster Sex Chocolate French fries Chocolate Pizza Sex Ice cream Diet Cola Chocolate Chocolate Sex Chocolate It should be presumed that I won't ever get better. When such a determination is reached, I hereby instruct my appointed person and attending physicians to pull the plug, reel in the tubes, let the 'fat lady sing,' and call it a day!

Update on Uncle Bill: He had a bad night and so went to the doctor yesterday morning which canceled our visit. Thankfully, however, he only bruised his ribs, not broke them. According to both my dad and Uncle Bill, bruised ribs still hurt like hell.

Have a Drink IT'S 5 O'CLOCK SOMEWHERE

Happy Halloween!

Funny Halloween Graphics provided by MySpaceGraphicsandAnimations.org

I found the following definitions for Jack-o-lanterns.

1. A lantern made from a hollowed pumpkin with openings representing eyes, nose, and mouth to make it look like a face—a symbol of Halloween.

2. The light of burning marsh gas.

The symbol of Halloween in North America is the reduction of an old phrase, "jack with a lantern."

In Play: The custom of putting carved vegetables out on Halloween did, however, originate with Irish Catholics. The Irish once placed carved turnips and rutabagas containing candles in their windows to ward off the dead souls they presumed wandered about on the eve of All Saints Day, originally known as All Hallow Even(ing). They switched to pumpkins when they immigrated to America since turnips and rutabagas were more likely to be served for dinner.

(Somehow, I doubt my kids would be satisfied with carving rutabagas and turnips instead of pumpkins.)

Jack-with-a-lantern originally meant "man with a lantern" (jack, as in the phrase, "every man, jack of them"). It referred to a night watchman. Its later structure, jack-o'-lantern, is analogical with that of will-o'-the-wisp, which originally meant only "a man named Will with a wisp (whiskbroom)". Both will-o'-the-wisp and jack-o'-lantern were later used to refer to what the Romans called ignis fatuus "crazy fire", the pale, mysterious fire from gas that sometimes faintly burns over marshy areas. A will-o'-the-wisp was then taken to be a sprite carrying the wisp of a torch across the swamps. A jack-o'-lantern was assumed to be a man with a lantern engaged in the same activity.

And that's the rest of the story.

Everybody have a safe and fun Halloween. We'll be trick-or-treating and then watching scary movies. Oh! And of course OD'ing on chocolate candy.

Thursday Thirteen: edition 16 - 13 funny cartoons and pics

Thirteen Funny Cartoons & Pictures I'm not feeling very well today so I'm going to do this the easy way. Following are 13 cartoons and pictures I think are funny. Enjoy!

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At least I've not had a donor do this to me...yet.

That's all 13, but here's one more bonus picture, just because I love it. :)

Next is the picture of a man with mere seconds to live.

You'll want to see what Amarinda Jones, Anika Hamilton, Anny Cook, Barbara Huffert, Brynn Paulin, Bronwyn Green, Dakota Rebel, Kelly Kirch, Molly Daniels, and Sandra Cox are up to, so make sure to visit them also. :)

Air car???

I totally sympathize with Maxine. I drive a big van because I have mucho kids and grandkids, so it sucks gas. Man, did I ever love my dad's new Prius, a hybrid that's really great on gas. What kind of car is this, do you ask? According to an email I got at work the other day, it's a car that runs on air instead of gas. Pretty nifty, huh? I hope it's for real. I'll be keeping my ears to the ground about this one. This is the email I got: "T he Compressed Air Car, developed by Motor Development International (MDI) Founder Guy Negre, might be the best thing to happen to the motor engine, and people all over the world. The $12,700 CityCAT, one of the planned Air Car models, reaches 68 mph, goes for a range of 125 miles. It will take only a few minutes for the CityCAT to refuel at gas stations equipped with custom air compressor units. MDI says it should cost only around $2 to fill the car up with 340 liters of air! The Air Car will be starting production soon, thanks to India 's TATA Motors. Forget corn! That's a joke. There's fuel, user friendly, pocketbook friendly fuel! What can be better than air? This is the same company which-a few months back-invented a car that costs only $2500 new. BUT it's not available in the USA . Why is it that a gasless vehicle that eliminates the reason to buy oil from foreign countries hasn't nipped the minds of US manufacturers? How bad can this be for anybody, anywhere in the world -- except for foreign oil?"

Captain Kirk is my friend

Captain Kirk is my friend.














For real.

I am soooooooooo pumped. I mean it. I'm not being sarcastic.

I'm a huge Star Trek fan. When I was a teen, I was in love with Mr. Spock. I thought Captain Kirk was cute, but I was a Spock woman 100%. Now that I'm older, I like Kirk. Actually, as an erotic romance author of menage, I could see myself with Kirk and Spock (I mean back in their ST days).

I also happen to think Denny Craig (Boston Legal) is downright adorable.

Isn't it cool that we can be "friends" with all kinds of people, even Captain Kirk/William Shatner via the Internet? Specifically, through MySpace.

Okay, I'm not completely brain dead. Shatner only has about 57,000 "friends" on MySpace. He probably has a PR firm who handles all this. He probably never glances at his MySpace or FaceBook profiles. He may not even know he's got a profile on MySpace. It's time consuming to make friends on MySpace.

Still, it feels cool to say this, which means I'm a big nerd. I know. I'll be a Star Trek fan as long as I live, even if that's till 2000.

I think the law of 7 is neat. I'm sure you've heard of it, also known as the "Kevin Bacon Game".

For the few who don't know of this, it means that all of us on earth are within 7 people of knowing everybody else on earth. It's not so hard to imagine.

My ex-boss knew the Prime Minister of Jamaica who knew the Queen of England who knew the Beatles. Yeah! Just how many people do the Queen and the Beatles know???

So now I have a connection to William Shatner, to Captain Kirk, and through him to Mr. Spock, and through him to all the Vulcans and Klingons, etc. etc.

Have you heard the joke about "Bubba and the Pope"? It's one of my favorite jokes of all times. Here it is. Enjoy!

Bubba was bragging to his boss one day, "You know, I know everyone there is to know. Just name someone, anyone, and I know them."

Tired of his boasting, his boss called his bluff, "Okay, Bubba, how about Tom Cruise?"

"Sure, yes, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it." So Bubba and his boss fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom Cruise's door, and sure enough, Tom Cruise, shouts, "Bubba! Great to see you! You and your friend come right in and join me for lunch!"

Although impressed, Bubba's boss is still skeptical. After they leave Cruise's house, he tells Bubba that he thinks Bubba's knowing Cruise was just lucky.

"No, no, just name anyone else," Bubba says.

"President Clinton," his boss quickly retorts.

"Yes," Bubba says, "I know him, let's fly out to Washington."

And off they go. At the White House, Clinton spots Bubba on the tour and motions him and his boss over, saying, "Bubba, what a surprise, I was just on my way to a meeting, but you and your friend come on in and let's have a cup of coffee first and catch up." Well, the boss is very shaken by now, but still not totally convinced.

After they leave the White house grounds, he expresses his doubts to Bubba, who again implores him to name anyone else.

"The Pope," his boss replies. "Sure!" says Bubba.

"My folks are from Poland, and I've known the Pope a long time."

So off they fly to Rome. Bubba and his boss are assembled with the masses in Vatican Square when Bubba says, "This will never work. I can't catch the Pope's eye among all these people. Tell you what, I know all the guards so let me just go upstairs and I'll come out on the balcony with the Pope." and he disappears into the crowd headed toward the Vatican. Sure enough, half an hour later Bubba emerges with the Pope on the balcony. But by the time Bubba returns, he finds that his boss has had a heart attack and is surrounded by paramedics.

Working his way to his boss' side, Bubba asks him, "What happened?" His boss looks up and says, "I was doing fine until you and the Pope came out on the balcony and the man next to me said, "Who's that on the balcony with Bubba?"

* So how come I don't know Bubba? I'll have to see if he's on MySpace...