Showing posts with label rejection. Show all posts
Showing posts with label rejection. Show all posts

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Rejection: Where do you go next?

Writers don't have a choke hold on rejection. That doesn't make it easier when we're rejected, unfortunately.

I'm watching an American Idol re-run of Hollywood (HELL) Week. In this episode the contestants are being pared down to the Top 24. They've made it really far. They know they're good because they've had a lot of successes and they've made it this far.

But they don't know if they're good enough to get through to the next round.

Those that get through to the Top 24 still face the possibility of more rejection. In fact, all but one will feel the sting.

Usually, there are more slots for writers. Most publishers publish four books a week which would be 208 annual slots. Multiply that by several publishers and there are a lot of possibilities for acceptance. Maybe that makes it worse.

With so much competition most writers will receive at least one rejection. Most will receive more than one.

So, how do you handle rejection? Where do you go from here?

Do you let one person's opinion, even one panel's decision, rule the rest of your life?

What if the Beatles had let Decca's rejection stop them? Not only would that have adversely affected their lives but all of ours. They weren't only rejected by Decca but by Columbia, Pye, Philips, and Oriole.

According to Wikipedia, Decca Records told the Beatles "guitar groups are on the way out" and "the Beatles have no future in show business".



According to Google Images, this is a picture of the Beatles right after the Decca rejection.


Aaron Kelly, a young man still in high school who is one of Season 9's contestants just said, (I'm paraphrasing) "You have to have everything they're looking for and hopefully I have that."

That sounds accurate. Our work can have many good aspects, indeed many wonderful things going for it, but it may not have every element and so we get rejected.

The good news is that people can learn, we can grow, we can practice and work hard to improve. We can also audition and submit to different people. So what if Decca rejects us? Or American Idol? Or Harlequin?

Each a big batch of chocolate, take a European vacation, go to the movies, take a bubble bath... Do whatever it takes to feel better then keep going. American Idol allows people to try year after year and some make it through the second or third time.

Don't give up on yourself.

Sure, I get depressed. Sometimes I wonder why I'm working so hard and not achieving my goals as quickly as some of my fellow writers who began their careers after me.

I have to wonder, are they more talented? Were they in the right place at the right time? Did they work harder than I have?

It could be one or all three. Perhaps I'll never know. But does it matter?

Not really.

What matters is where I go from here, how I handle my career. If I were to give up, I'd be a failure. If I keep working, keep trying, chances are I'll succeed BIG.

Maybe it was a good thing Decca and all those others rejected the Beatles. Maybe their career wouldn't have gone as well if they had found earlier acceptance.

The American Idol judges just explained to a very upset rejected contestant that one rejection isn't the end of the world nor even the end of her career. They told her to believe in herself, to keep going. Sounds like good advice to me.

I will not give up. I will keep trying. I will keep believing in myself.

What about you?

Recent posts you might like to read:

Cliche or Coincidence?

Customer Service

What Prompts Me To "Follow" A Blog

When Do You Write?

Why You Should Consider Library Booksignings

Make Sure Pretentious Words Don't Turn Off Your Readers

Dedicating Books

Dont Give Up Too Early

You'll also want to see what Amarinda Jones, Anika Hamilton, Anny Cook, Barbara Huffert, Brynn Paulin, Bronwyn Green, Dakota Rebel, Kelly Kirch, Molly Daniels, Sandra Cox, Regina Carlysle, and Cindy Spencer Pape are up to, so make sure to visit them also. :)

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Sorry Charlie, You're No Good

I'm watching an old movie from the 1980's - "Peggy Sue Got Married" with Nicholas Cage and Kathleen Turner. Nicholas Cage has come a long way as an actor. I loved him in "Knowing" last weekend. Anyway, that's not the point of today's post. If you've seen the movie, you know Charlie (Cage's character) is obsessed with music and becoming a famous musician like Dion. (Not my cat Dion, the other one - the one my kids have no clue who he is. - that's a whole other blog post) There's a part that's about to be shown - where Charlie auditions for an agent and the agent tells him "Sorry, Charlie. You're not good enough to make it in the music business." Then Charlie gets depressed, gives up his music, and is unhappy for the rest of his life. Whoa! What kind of way is that to be? Unfortunately, I had an agent tell me also, "You're never going to make it in this (writing) business." Hell no! I didn't like it, either. No better than Charlie. I was depressed, too. But should we give up because someone doesn't like us or our books or our voice? For those who love American Idol like me, how many times has Simon told someone they weren't doing well enough and then they go on to become stars in the music biz? (Think Jennifer Hudson from season 3 of American Idol - now super star) No! We shouldn't give up on our dreams so easily. We need to believe in ourselves, to keep learning, keep plugging along. I'm also a realist and I crave security so if you've ready even a couple of my posts you know I hold a full-time day job which I'm not about to give up until I have a couple cool million in the bank (or more). But neither am I going to give up on my dream. I do, however, believe in doing it the safe way and working at it while keeping a paycheck I can count on. Why would someone listen to one or two people, especially about something so important? First and foremost, you have to believe in yourself. You have to fight for yourself. No one else will fight nearly as hard for you as you will for yourself. It can be hard and tiring and time consuming. But I'm not sorry. Writing books is my dream. Being published is my dream. Building a writing career is highly important to me. So no, I'm not going to give up. I'll never give up as long as I have breath and can still type or speak into one of those Dragon Speak things. You'll also want to see what Amarinda Jones, Anika Hamilton, Anny Cook, Barbara Huffert, Brynn Paulin, Bronwyn Green, Dakota Rebel, Kelly Kirch, Molly Daniels, Sandra Cox, Regina Carlysle, and Cindy Spencer Pape are up to, so make sure to visit them also. :)

Wednesday, October 08, 2008

Rejection sucks. I need Chinese food!

Before I go into today's post, here's a picture to get you in the mood for Halloween - or maybe this will get you OUT of the mood. LOL Actually, I'm exactly in this mood today. I got rejected. Well, of course it was my story that got rejected, but it feels personal. I know it's not supposed to be personal but that sounds like what my customer service day job boss tells me when donors yell and scream and get nasty - it's not personal. Oh well :( Rejection sucks. It's yuckier, well, than that mess in the picture above. I hinted to hubby that I NEED, I mean I'm really really really in desperate need of Chinese food tonight, but he didn't bite. So instead of diving into a big vat of chocolate or Chinese, I ate a banana. It's not exactly comfort food if healthier. However, I'll probably be craving chocolate and Chinese food (not necessarily together in the same meal) tomorrow. I'm confused. The rejection told me what the publisher is looking for and said my story had some of those elements but not all. But it didn't specify which I'd done right and which was wrong, so I don't know what to fix or how to improve. I understand publishers are busy and don't owe us a thing. I really do. But I still wish I knew which things were wrong - not even tiny details but at least the broad categories. I guess it's back to the drawing board and try to get some help with it. Meanwhile, I'm going to chant (until I believe it) "It's not personal, it's not personal." (Geesh, I sound like Tom Hanks in "You've Got Mail", well, with a feminine voice.)

Sunday, June 01, 2008

Life sucks

I just read a post from a friend - maybe she's more of a friend of a friend. She's down and I sympathize with her - rejection sucks and yes, published authors still get them. We get the formal rejections from publishers. And we get rejections from people we thought were good friends. I think those are the worst. No, I know they are. So it's my turn to have the pity party. I had a great critique partner. Morever, by far, she was a great friend. We were like sisters. At least I thought so. Now, I hardly hear from her. I mean hardly ever. Anyway, I went to the other person's blog and in the comments (by the way, my old friend hasn't commented here in almost forever so I doubt she visits here any more than she's been emailing or IMing me) was a very touching comment from our mutual friend. The mutual friend stated something like, we love you and the other 2/3rds of the 3 musketeers are always here for you. She also mentioned that the other 2 musketeers would help her with her book as they always do. Huh? They had said I would be part of their critique group when they started back up. They never informed me, although I suspected. I'm not the other 1/3. I know I'm not. I've been cut out. It feels like I've lost the friend. At least we're not close anymore. She's replaced me totally. I'm history. I was going to leave a nice comment myself offering hugs. I guess I should, but it hurts. I don't blame her. I guess I can't blame anyone but fate. Maybe myself? I guess I got too busy. I work a day job so I can't be online and available nearly as much as the others. And/or maybe they don't like the way I write or critique or whatever. Tears are stinging my eyes and I feel like an idiot in so many ways. One, I shouldn't let this get to me. Obviously I knew this already as I never hear from her. I could have emailed but I've seen this for a year or so and have felt so very left out and hurt, I backed away even further rather than chase after her like a fool. Shit happens. Life happens. Some friends are only meant for a season. Let me move on. She has. Oh well...

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