Saturday, June 21, 2008

Tribute to my mother

Twenty years ago yesterday, my mom died.

She was only 58. Much too young.

She had cancer. She suffered far too much.

I was her only child. I miss her like hell.

I mentioned several things I love and remember about my dad the other day. Now it's my mom's turn.

My mom loved to sew, crochet, knit, embroider, and do crafts. All her life, she worked in some type of sewing including alterations, bridal, and tailoring. She made a lot of my clothes. She tried to teach me to sew, but unfortunately, it wasn't my forte.

She loved John Wayne movies. She watched them all the time and this was before the days of videos and DVDs.

She also loved musicals with Howard Keel, Doris Day, Gordon MacRae, Gene Kelly, Judy Garland, etc.

She got me hooked on General Hospital (yep, the soap). Back when Nurse Audrey was hiding her son from Doctor Steve and everybody. Before Robert Scorpio, Anna Devane, Frisco and Felicia, or even Luke and Laura.

She was a meat eater. She'd eat weird things like hearts, kidneys, and other strange cuts I won't go near.

She liked to bowl. One time, she joined a team and bowled with Cincinnati's Marge Schott (if you're from Cincinnati, you'll have heard of her).

She took me bowling a lot, and to the movies. She doted on me, her only child.

She was a beautiful blonde with gray-blue eyes. But she admired her older sister's beautiful red hair, like their dad's, and she'd wished I'd be a red-head. Instead, I looked like my mom. Then Mom wished that my children would inherit the family's red hair. None of them have. Sorry Mom. But I think her grandkids are perfect the way they are. :)

When I was in college, she helped me with my homework by finding news articles and sending them to me. Even from California when we lived in Mississippi.

At about age 50, she returned to college to learn hotel/restaurant management. She worked parttime at various hotel desks while taking college classes.

When my family moved, she moved to be near us. When we got married, she made my wedding dress with beautiful beadwork on the bodice. Then she flew out to California and put my wedding together. While there, she fell in love with California (Northern) and decided to stay. She bought property and made a home with my stepfather.

Then she was diagnosed with cancer. Not just any cancer, but bone cancer, one of the worst kinds. Perhaps the worst. She was given two years to live. She called us all the time. She sent notes to each of my three children every single week.

She won a pair of plane tickets from a radio station and she used them to visit us for a couple weeks. We were still stationed in Mississippi with the Air Force and I was still attending USM. It was a bittersweet two weeks.

She was planning on visiting again and perhaps staying a couple months. She seemed to be doing well under the circumstances. But when I got home from the boys' T-Ball game one fateful Monday afternoon in June, we had a phone message that she was very ill. I called straight away. But it was too late. She'd stopped breathing and had a no resuscitation order. I couldn't breathe. I was crushed.

We fought a lot, especially for the year she lived with us. DH says it's because we're too much alike (he also says I fight a lot with D#1 because we're also too much alike.) But I still miss her like crazy.

Every year on the anniversay of her death, it haunts me. I don't try to remember the day, but most years, when I glance at the date, it floods back anyway.

On another note, my publisher Total-e-Bound has updated their site and in honor of their first year anniversary, they've posted several FREE reads on their site. Yep, totally free. No catch. You don't have to order or do anything else to get them. Just go to the site and get them at: Total-e-Bound

I have four FREE short stories at Total-e-Bound: Sticky Wicket, The Naughty Secretary, A Sex God, and Don't Ask, Don't Tell.

There are several other free short stories, also, in addition to mine.

Go ahead. Enjoy!


Unknown said...

My mother was the same age as yours when she died of cancer...not fair, not right

Unknown said...

So sorry about your mother.

No it's not fair and not right. Beyond feeling sorry for my loss and my kid's loss, I feel horrible for our moms' loss. They deserved to live more of life and a happier life.

Sandra Cox said...

So sorry for your loss, Ash. She sounds like a beautiful fascinating woman who loved her daughter very much.
My husband lost his mom to cancer when she was in her fifties.

barbara huffert said...

Your mother sounds wonderful. She will live on within your heart forever.

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