Friday, October 03, 2008

Soul Mates? Is there such a thing?

Do soul mates really exist? I used to think so, when I was young and innocent. I used to think there was only one perfect person for each of us, that we couldn't possibly love more than one person. That if we thought we did, that we hadn't really found our soul mate. I didn't believe my mom when she said we could love more than one person at a time, that although she loved her current husband, she still felt love for her ex, even if their relationship hadn't worked out. Since then, I've thought about this a lot. I've heard many theories. I've read and written many romances. Here's one scenario. You marry the man you love and have a happy life. He dies prematurely. Then you meet someone else and fall in love with him and live happily. So you were happy with both men. Which one is your soul mate? The first or the second? Of course now, I've fallen in love more than once. Can I honestly say I have no soft feelings for some of them in my past? No. Can all of you say the same? Isn't that a popular romantic theme? The reunion? Sometimes after the heroine's been married in between, sometimes not. And why is it so popular? I'd be willing to bet because a lot of us still harbor feelings for someone from our past. Have you ever gone to a high school or other reunion hoping to see someone special from your past? If they were there, how did you feel? Lately I've been writing menage romance where more than two people are in love with each other all at once and they're happy together. I'm not sure anymore that love has rules, at least not until we make solemn vows to God. Even then, part of our hearts might still belong to another. Also, if there is one true soul mate for us, how do we know we'll ever meet them? Does fate step in and arrange for us to meet them? We live in a BIG world. Some of us travel a lot. Some of us live our whole lives in one small town. What are the chances that our soul mate lives in our tiny little town? Or will fate move us (or our mate) into our realm? I know one woman who said she looked for her soul mate until she was about 30 and then gave up finding him. So she decided to travel around the world. Guess what? She met him in another country when she'd stopped looking for him. Our romance books often allude to soul mates. My most recent release plays heavily on the soul and not just the heart aspect of romance. You'll also want to see what Amarinda Jones, Anika Hamilton, Anny Cook, Barbara Huffert, Brynn Paulin, Bronwyn Green, Dakota Rebel, Kelly Kirch, Molly Daniels, Sandra Cox, Regina Carlysle, and Cindy Spencer Pape are up to, so make sure to visit them also. :)


Cindy Spencer Pape said...

Excellent post, Ashley! And I love the new site.

Molly Daniels said... often find you when you quit looking. That's also what happened to me!

Anonymous said...

I found Scott when I quit looking. I guess it depends on the definition. Does my soul have a missing piece until I find "him"? Nah. I don't think so. Do I connect with "him" like no other person and we just fit? Sure!

captain corky said...

My wife doesn't believe in soul mates, but we are in love. I'm sure we both have feelings for other people we have loved. I just reconnected with a woman I dated when I was younger and I still have warm feelings regarding her. Doesn't mean that I'm not happy or very much in love with my wife. Know what I mean?

There's also the possibility that I'm my own soul mate, but that's a discussion for another time. ;)

Shelley Munro said...

I'd like to believe in the idea of soul mates, but when you think about it, the world is a huge place. How could you possibly know you've met your soul mate? Cynical, huh? :)

Kati said...

Hey Ashley!!! I'm yet another who believed in "soul mates" as a kid, and now.... Not so much. Or, more accurately I don't think that a soul mate is necessarily somebody you'll find physical love with, but somebody whom your soul remembers from a past life. Best friends may be soul-mates, the same sex, and entirely heterosexual. Perhaps in certain lives soul mates ARE together in a physical way, but I don't think that a physical love is necessary to having a soul mate.

Interesting topic!!! Hope you're having a beautiful autumn!

Unknown said...

I think there is someone for everyone whether you meet them or not but I do not believe in soul mates as such.

Unknown said...

I think that we do have soul mates. But I don't believe there is only one, and I don't believe that they necessarily have to be a person that you fall in love with.

I believe that my best friend is my soul mate. We are both in love with others, and neither of us have had a single romantic feeling toward the other, but we fit together. There is a chemisitry between us I have never experienced with another person. We "get" each other.

But that's just me.

Dakota Rebel

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