Friday, November 07, 2008

The Perfect Man

"27 Dresses" with James Marsden (sigh, swoon, be still my heart) and Kathryn Heigl just ended and I'm floating on a romantic crowd. James Marsden is such a doll. I've thought so since the first time I laid eyes on him in X-Men and then again in Superman Returns, but in this one in particular. But my topic, while inspired by James Marsden's character in "27 Dresses" isn't about him. It's about the romance in the movie. Jane, Kathryn's character falls in love with Kevin, James' character, despite the fact that he's sarcastic and cranky and been needling her. He's not the ideal of her perfect man. In fact, her boss George is her idea of the perfect man. But it's Kevin's kiss that sends her into orbit. It's sparring with him that makes her smile. When she finally gets her first kiss from George, it leaves her flat. It's not so perfect. This isn't the first time movies and books have explored this theme. Another of my favorite movies is "While You Were Sleeping" in which Sandra Bullock is infatuated with Peter whom she only lusts after from afar. Then she meets his younger brother, Jack, and falls for him. When Peter awakens from his coma and she gets to know him, she realizes he's not the perfect man he looked like. Jack's her perfect man. More realistic, at least somewhat (we hope) was "The Bachelorette" with Deanna. On paper, she said, Jeremy was her perfect man. Handsome, nice, responsible, kind, and in love with her. But her heart chose someone else. So how many of us have an idea of "perfect" in our mind? In particular, the "perfect man"? We joke about it, at least us mature women. But secretly I know I still want it. I imagine most of us do. How many of us have found "perfect"? Was the man we fell in love with the man we initially thought to be "perfect"? Does chemistry and love happen just because our minds tell us what the "perfect" qualities are? Just because we admire something or someone? Does "perfect" make our heart go pitter patter? Or do we end up falling in love with someone less than perfect? Someone who turns out to be perfect for us after all? Do we think of ourselves as perfect? I'm human and thus flawed. Do I want someone to love me in spite of that? Or perhaps because of my quirks? Hell yeah! To me, Kevin in "27 Dresses" is pretty darn near perfect. I think he's extremely cute, and I don't mean just physically. I adore his personality. I like a bit of sarcasm, at least his brand. When I signed onto AOL tonight, I clicked onto a link showing unlikely couples. I didn't know the majority of the so-called celebrities to judge if they were perfect for each other or not. A lot of them didn't *look* perfect together. Some looked pretty darned mismatched (i.e. Julia Roberts and Lyle Lovette). But true love looks within and souls meet. Outward appearance, something I think romance novels too often focus on, means nothing in the end. I mentioned in another recent post on another blog that I'm typically initially attracted to a certain physical type - tall, dark, and handsome (add a nice rich voice to that list). And yet, one of the most memorable men that I let get away was blond, blue-eyed, and not much taller than me, not at all my normal physical type, but definitely a good and attractive man in so many ways. So is the concept of "perfect", especially that of the "perfect man" a dangerous one? Does it cause some people to disregard someone who really could be perfect for them? I know my husband and the less than thrilled commenter on my short story "Brazen" thinks so.


Nicole McCaffrey said...

Great blog--I've been wanting to see that movie.

My hubby and I weren't initially attracted to one another, but we gave each other a chance and somewhere along the way, realized we were each other's ideal.

As they say, looks will fade in time, but love is forever.

And no, I don't think of myself as perfect at all, in fact sometimes, I'll look at my hubby and say "why on Earth are you still hanging around?" LOL.

While You Were Sleeping is one of my absolute favorite movies. Another one that touches on the same theme is You've Got Mail. Two people who don't want to fall in love with one another--but just can't help it. Sigh. Nothing more romantic than that!

Anonymous said...

It was a good movie. I especially liked the pub scene and then the one where James realizes who she's in love with.

Molly Daniels said...

I haven't seen Dresses, but I loved Mail:)

Growing up, I always thought I'd marry a blonde, blue-eyed man so our kids would bave blonde hair and blue yes. However, my soul matee is tall, dark, and handsome! But thanks to his recesseve genes, we still got our blonde, blue eyed kids. Even though the oldest is now light brown; daughter colored hers dark brown; but the baby is still a towhead!

Cindy Spencer Pape said...

I remember writing a perfect man list when I was a teenager. My husband doesn't match too many of the characteristics I listed--he's certainly not independently wealthy or titled nobility. (snicker--what can I say, I read way too many British romances) but he DOES match a few of the important ones. Besides being tall, he's intelligent, has a wicked sense of humor, and he thinks I'm wonderful. Yep. Perfect for me, even on the days I want to beat him over the head with a rock.

DJ Kirkby said...

I think a preconcieved idea of 'perfect' can lead to dissapointment however, it is nice to have a goal to search for!

Molly Daniels said...

LOL:) Forgot to mention; my sis called me, laughing because she'd met her 'perfect man' and agreed to go out with him. Well...turns out she was Bored to TEARS with him! And now she's happily married to a man she never thought she'd like in the first place:)

Unknown said...

Although I married a tall man with dark hair (2 out of 3 things I like in men) he has beautiful blue eyes - nothing against them, I just swoon over dark ones. Although our daughters both got his dark hair and blue eyes, 2 out of our 3 sons got my mom's family's blonde hair and one also got blue eyes - man do the girls really swoon over the blonde/blue-eyed son. The other blonde son has brown eyes - I didn't think we could have a brown eyed son when the hubby has blue eyes and I have green. Mine are green/hazel so I guess he does get the brown from me. My 2 older boys are only 5'10", so not too tall, if not short (Hubby's 6'1" and his brother was 6'3"). The youngest is only 13 so I don't know how tall he'll get. I wonder if I like dark haired/dark eyed men because my daddy was that way. Do little girls idolize their daddies such that they want similar type men? Although my dad is also 5'10" like my oldest two sons, so again, not short, but not super tall.

Kati said...

*grin* I just saw this movie the other night, myself. It was pretty cute. (Though, James Marsden does nothing for me, personally.) I tend to go for the tall,, dark & broody (think, David Boreanaz's Angel). And yet, I keep finding these shorter, "happier-looking" guys appealing to me when I've spent some time talking to them. (Ok, but still.... And I married a "tall, dark & broody" and he's TOO broody for me, always looking like he's pissed off..... *sigh* Who can tell, it seems?!?!)

But, yeah, theme wise, it's not far off how we (men AND women) think we've got their "type" all figured out, only to find ourselves attracted who's not at ALL our usual "type".

Angelm said...

Just finished watching this film in HD quality @ I was busy when it came out on theaters so, when I had time I watched it. The movie is funny and romantic. I wish I was Katherine I envy her for kissing James! :)

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