MID-LIFE CRISIS!!!

I think everybody agrees that men have mid-life crisis. They buy fast, sexy cars. They ditch their wives for younger women. They do crazy things like join rock bands and climb treacherous mountains. It's MY turn! I want MY mid-life crisis! I've worked for it! I've spewed blood for it! It's MY TURN damnit!!! Everything's annoying me this week. BIGTIME!!! Why? How the HELL do I know? Maybe it's that it's October so the idiots are out in droves. Maybe it's a full moon. Maybe my hormones are whacking out. Maybe I'm just plain crazy! Nothing huge or horrible happened today. In fact my 403b went UP $2,000. so it wasn't that bad. But at DD#2's softball game a bunch of really cute and adorable little boys kept running over my feet and hitting me with their toys and their balls. They knocked my soda over on me. I don't blame them but where were their parents??? Then, the maintenance staff almost locked me into the bathroom after the game. They didn't bother to ask if anyone was in the bathrooms before locking up??? Then the real kicker was that the hubby told me to stop and get gas at the station where it was selling for $2.89 a gallon. I really didn't need gas but I stopped to top off. But it was a zoo so I decided I'd leave and wait till another time. Mistake! All exits were blocked. So I was blocked and waiting. But people were trying to back into me and yelling at me to get out of their way when clearly I couldn't move. One guy looked like he was going to ram me. If I wasn't already in a bad mood, that would've done it. It made it explode out of all proportion. I've been flustered for at least a week. Honestly? I've been stressed out and exhausted since I was promoted to manager. I'm furious at myself for not being further along in my writing career, for gaining so much weight back. Or is it that I'm in the "danger zone" - between the ages of 45-55. Oh well... I think I need one day, just one day completely off, to laze in bed, sleep late, and not deal with any noise, any stress, any confrontation. Unfortunately, I don't think I'll ever manage that until the 13 year old is grown. The thought of having to wait for 6 or 7 years for that day is overwhelming right now, even though in other ways I dread the kids growing up. You'll also want to see what Amarinda Jones, Anika Hamilton, Anny Cook, Barbara Huffert, Brynn Paulin, Bronwyn Green, Dakota Rebel, Kelly Kirch, Molly Daniels, Sandra Cox, Regina Carlysle, and Cindy Spencer Pape are up to, so make sure to visit them also. :)

Boy, do I need one of these!

Boy, but do I ever need one of these today! That guy has the right idea. Right now, I'm so tensed up, so infuriated, I could scream. Literally. Ugh!!! I hate it when I get this way. I haven't in a really long time. Maybe my stress is up because my immune system is down. I'm fighting a bacterial bronchitis at the moment and so have been home from the day job for two days now, in bed, with only the TV, my laptop, and my family to keep me company. You'd think that'd bring DOWN my stress level. After all, I've not had to deal with a cranky, bitchy customer in more than two days. Unfortunately, being bored, I've had more time to blog hop and surf around online than normal - have laptop, will travel, even when flat on my back sick in bed. I made the big mistake of checking out a message board I've not been to in awhile, one dealing with an ex-employer of sorts, one that always incites me. Having more time than usual, I spent more time there than ordinary. Then I ended up on You Tube watching some videos stating their opinion of this organization. Now, I happen to share most of the video makers' opinions. It was the opposition replying that got me riled up. My fault, I know, for letting it. My fault for reading it in the first place. My fault for not totally dropping it like I keep swearing to do. I understand that people on both sides have a right to express their views. I understand that when people feel attacked, they will defend themselves. I understand it's a highly emotional and usually irrational arena. What I don't understand is two things: 1) why I am being a big doofus to get involved ever again, even so much as reading it as I well know there's no dealing with cultists and being able to hold a sane conversation with any of these individuals - rather makes me insane, too. Right? 2) if it's illegal (at least I think it is) for an ex-employer to bash an ex-employee publicly (i.e. saying things like "she was too lazy and didn't try hard enough" wouldn't fly. At least I'm pretty sure it wouldn't. Here's one of the digs that's just making me boil: "Maybe if you spent more time working than playing with toys you might be able to make something out of your business. It is a job, you do actually have to work. I've been in the business for 1 year now and I've already been on stage, recruited a few people, and had plenty of bookings and commissions - just get off your butt," Isn't it amazing how people assume how much someone else works or doesn't work? That they *think* they have insider information into someone else's life so they think they have the right to put them down - anywhere, but particularly online for the world to see. To me, a lot of incendiary words were used in that remark above. If someone at my day job spoke to another employee, a customer, or anyone like that, we'd be immediately talked to and given more training at a minimum. We are not allowed to be so disrespectful. If we said something like that on line, I'd be lucky to have a job left - most likely I'd be written up with a stern warning. I wonder, am I just being sensitive, maybe ultra-sensitive, or would you find a comment like that insulting and ignorant, too? This wasn't the only thing to get my goat in the past couple days, although this was the main one. On one of my writer's loops, the discussion grew political. I don't have a political bone in my body and doubt I ever will. It bores me. A discussion unfortunately, turned political on this loop, so rightfully, according to the loop's stated guidelines, the moderator stepped in and asked nicely for the loop members to refrain from continuing the discussion. Unfortunately, people are still discussing the taboo subject anyway. Normally, I wouldn't give it a second thought. I'm just already on a mad, so I noticed. To top it off, I mentioned something completely different to my hubby when he got home from work. He didn't like it, and so he went mounted a defensive. Enough already! Sheesh! I asked him to drop it and I even put in my ear plugs. He kept talking and glared at me when I wasn't responding. I wonder if it would have worked better (probably worse, though) if I wore an ear protector like the one above that also says, "Bullshit Protector". You know, thinking about it, I know what's really wrong with me. I ran out of my Lexapro and Wellbrutin a couple weeks ago. I have to wait until payday tomorrow to renew them. So let me lie low for a few days until the meds have had time to get back into my system and put me back on track. Meanwhile, I'll keep my ear plugs in and avoid that site that's infuriating me. Also, please help me wish my DD#2 a very happy 18th birthday today. I can't believe my baby girl is all grown up. This is her last year of high school and she could move out after this year if she wants. College, probably although she's still undecided. (See a recent post about this). You'll also want to see what Amarinda Jones, Anika Hamilton, Anny Cook, Barbara Huffert, Brynn Paulin, Bronwyn Green, Dakota Rebel, Kelly Kirch, Molly Daniels, Sandra Cox, Regina Carlysle, and Cindy Spencer Pape are up to, so make sure to visit them also. :)