Monday, May 26, 2008

Indiana Jones - the new movie; Aging parents

DH took me to see the new Indiana Jones movie this afternoon. It's a real winner. I loved it. It's true to Indy, it's a great romance, and it's a lot of fun. I wonder if some people might find it over the top, but again, that's Indiana Jones. I like it this way. I highly recommend this movie. I can't wait to see it again. It's on my must buy list for DVD. I doubt I wait that long to see it a second time. I'll probably take the kids to see it as soon as I can afford to when I get back from Cincinnati. I spoke to my dad yesterday. He's not doing so well. He's had some "heart problems" lately. He'd not wanted to worry me and so hadn't told me till yesterday. He still wants me to visit. So do I. Now I'm worried. Dad's 79 and until now, he's also been so very healthy and energetic. His mother died of heart attacks. She lived until she was 86. That's a pretty decent age. Still, I miss her a lot, and it scares me a lot that Dad's nearing that age and showing signs of what she had. I'm an only child and I'm at least 2 days drive away from Dad. I can't get to his house easily or often. I don't know what will happen if his health is getting bad enough he needs my help. I can't leave my family and quit my job to go to Cincinnati, must as I want to be there. I seriously doubt that Dad will agree to move down here with or near us, although I would ask if it comes to that. There's no extra space in my house so I don't know how I'd make it. I already have one son living in the garage. Of course I've not seen or talked to Dad yet. In person or in depth about how he wants to handle things should he get to the point he needs help, I mean. My only maybe workable thought is to send Monica, my single 24 year old daughter up to help Dad if he wishes it and will accept it. I've talked to her, and she's willing to help. At this point, it's total speculation that he needs this much help yet. I know he has wonderful neighbors that are great friends. I've known them all my life. But it's my responsibility, not theirs. I know DH won't move up there and short of getting a divorce, or at least jeopardizing my job and leaving a 13 year old son for awhile which isn't good either, I don't know what else to do. I don't know how people do it. My parents always lived in the same town as my grandparents. My aunts and uncles also did. My DH, however, insists on being states away. If it was up to me, I'd have moved back to Cincinnati in a flash, years ago, even though I really like my job.

6 comments:

Amarinda Jones said...

I am in a similar situation and I get what you are going through. Guilt. The thing is as much as you worry about him and he likes to see you, he is a big boy and he expects you to live your own life. Call him often, see him when you can and quit the guilt thing or lessen it a bit

Molly Daniels said...

When my gramma was diagnosed with cancer, my mom was able to take a leave of absense from her job in order to be Gramma's hospice nurse. I think she went to Fla in Sept/Oct and Gramma passed in January. But Mom stayed down there until March or April, tying up loose ends and cleaning out the town house.

But if that's not possible, then I agree with AJ...phone often and pray daily for him.

I'm only 3 hours from my parents, and my mom said something strange this week...their 45th wedding anniversary is in October, and Mom wants a special celebration now instead of waiting 5 more years. Does she know or suspect something I don't? Or was she just thrilled beyond belief that her 'chicks' were all under her roof for the first time in years? Don't know, but I think I'm going to step up efforts to spend more time with them this summer.

Hugs, sweetie. Have a great time in Cincy and I'll see you there next year.

Kelly Kirch said...

Sometimes, despite their independence, they realize their situation better than you expected. When you ask him about moving, what does he say?

Sandra Cox said...

Having aging parents is an issue isn't it? Way to go, Monica. That's wonderful that she's willing to do that. How would he feel about assisted living? That's where my mom's at and it really turned out to be a blessing. She's happy there and they take good care of her. Now, its a matter of the money holding out.
I loved The Crystal Skull too:) Of the 4 it was my fav.

Vi said...

I have this worry with my mother. She lives on the other side of the world, and there is no way I could help her if she needed it. Luckily I do have a sister in the same town, but she's already helping my dad out.

Shelley Munro said...

It's a tough thing to go through, and I feel your pain. My father is a similar age and loves his independence.

I'm looking forward to seeing the Indy movie. I haven't had a chance to see it yet.

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