Showing posts with label Florida. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Florida. Show all posts

Friday, September 05, 2008

Hurricane procedure memo from management

Office hurricane procedure memo:

As we watch the progress of Hurricane Ike, the following are the office guidelines based upon the hurricane's intensity:

Hurricane Category #1

No excuse for being late. Leave earlier to give extra time to avoid fallen trees and limbs.

Hurricane Category #2

Due to the horizontal rain, you may wear jeans.

Hurricane Category #3

Whereas most of the area will be flooded we suggest you avoid wearing open toe sandals when coming to work. Canoes will be provided to get to the building safely without getting wet.

Hurricane Category #4

More than likely there will be no electricity. Given that, we will have manual typewriters available to all staff members. Please take extra caution and wear water-proof make-up if Category 4 or above.

Hurricane Category #5

Velcro will be provided to keep you attached to your chairs when the windows blow out. For those that survive, we will have chocolate cake at 3:00 pm in the kitchen.

Thank you,

The management

The hubby *thinks* Ike will be a cat 4 or 5 when he gets to us (like hubby is now a weather man).

The news tonight told us all our mandatory evacuation zones for Dade and Broward Counties. We're too far inland, but it doesn't feel like far enough. One mile more, however, and we'd be in the Everglades. There aren't exactly any hotels or shelters out in the Everglades. So we're stuck.

I really should move back to Nebraska. Yeah, we really did live there - years ago when DH and I were in the US Air Force.

Monday, July 28, 2008

Be Careful For What You Wish...

Be careful for what you wish. Do you remember my recent post about Christmas in July? About how I’ve been watching Christmas movies in July to get in the mood to write Christmas stories? I didn’t actually wish for something, but close enough, obviously. My darling daughter reminded me that I’ve really been having Christmas in July. She didn’t mean the holiday movies. She was reminding me that we’ve been having a helluva busy and stressful time at the day job, just like we have at Christmastime. Believe me, I didn’t wish for the past two weeks. When I was 16, I wished to live in Florida. Dad and I were visiting Florida and Disney World and I fell in love with the Gulf Coast beaches and palm trees. Guess what? I’ve lived in Florida for the past twenty years. It’s okay, but I no longer find palm trees so fascinating. Yeah, they’re pretty, but they don’t seem exotic like I once thought. I like Florida, but I really miss Ohio where I grew up. I miss the hills and the types of trees they have in Ohio, Fall and all the pretty colors, snow and cold weather, especially during the Christmas season. Have you ever wished for something, got it, and then were disappointed in what you got? Here’s a good joke about getting what you wish for. Enjoy.
A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him.
The waitress asks them for their orders.The man says, "A hamburger, fries and a coke," and turns to the ostrich, "What's yours?""I'll have the same," says the ostrich. A short time later the waitress returns with the order "That will be $9.40 please," and the man reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change for payment.
The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the man says, "A hamburger, fries and a coke."The ostrich says, "I'll have the same."Again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.
This becomes routine until the two enter again. "The usual?" asks the waitress.
"No, this is Friday night, so I will have a steak, baked potato and a salad," says the man."Same," says the ostrich.
Shortly the waitress brings the order and says, "That will be $32.62." Once again the man pulls the exact change out of his pocket and places it on the table.
The waitress cannot hold back her curiosity any longer. "Excuse me, sir. How do you manage to always come up with the exact change in your pocket every time?"
"Well," says the man, "several years ago I was cleaning the attic and found an old lamp. When I rubbed it, a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there."
"That's brilliant!" says the waitress. "Most people would ask for a million dollars or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live!"
"That's right. Whether it's a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there," says the man.
The waitress asks, "What's with the ostrich?"
The man sighs, pauses and answers, "My second wish was for a tall chick with a big butt and long legs who agrees with everything I say."

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Great unanswered questions of the Universe

I've been pondering the great questions of the Universe. Please feel free to add to the list or to make comments. First, why doesn't Starburst make bags of Starburst candies in one flavor only? I love the strawberry Starburst and I can tolerate the orange and red, but I HATE the lemon Starbursts. I would buy so much more Starbursts if only I could get all strawberry. What's so hard about that? Huh? Starburst Corporation, take a hint! PornfortheBlind.org - Huh? You know that ".org" means the entity is a non-profit as in a charitable organization, right? Since when is giving someone porn charitable? I am an erotic romance writer, but it's for fun. I never thought of it as charitable. My day job is for charity, to feed, clothe, educate, and house people. I had to shake my head and laugh my ass off when I saw this in Scarlet Magazine. BTW, Scarlet magazine is extremely interesting and I think I'm going to sign up for a subscription. Also btw, my short story "Sticky Wicket" which Scarlet entitles "Male Shot" is published in the July 2008 issue of Scarlet Magazine. It's also posted for free reading on the TEB website. Why won't my insurance company not allow me to have ear surgery that I need to stay working in my day job and remain a productive member of society? I mean, once my hearing gets so bad I can't work in customer service or on a phone or with the public, I'll have to go on public assistance. How will that help anybody??? What are they thinking??? Oi!!! Why do husbands think they own the remote control? Why do they think it's okay for them to watch things on TV we hate but that we shouldn't make them watch things we like that they hate? If marriage is supposed to be 50/50, why do they think they're supposed to get control of the TV 99% of the time? Or 100%???? Why are gas and grocery prices getting so high? Is it like Scarlet Magazine suggests in their July 08 issue that wealthy UK bankers gave risky credit to US trailer park poor people to buy brick & mortar houses and when those people let the houses go into foreclosure, the world economy went into a tailspin? What about the greedy Middle East oil barrons? Don't they play a part??? And why aren't we using air cars? See my post last week. Why does my son's job give their long-time employees only 5-10 hours work a week and then hire new employees to do the same job??? Why does lightning strike more in Florida than anywhere else in the world? When is Florida going to drop into the ocean? Why did my builder give us such teensy tiny closets? If Captain Kirk (Star Trek) was such a ladies man, how come we were only ever shown one of his children? (David from the second or third Star Trek movie - Genesis, I think.) Surely he had more??? Where are the Vulcans and why haven't they shown their faces yet? Why do men still earn more than women for the same jobs at many companies? Why do drivers think tailgating will make people go faster? (Personally, I slow down to give even more space between my car and the one in front of me so as not to cause a chain reaction and also to piss off the person behind me who is pissing me off.)

Thursday, June 26, 2008

Thirteen Thursday #9: Florida animals and birds

Thirteen Animals/Birds found in Florida
1.... Alligators

2.... Florida Black Bear

3.... Panther

4.... Bobcat

5.... Dolphins

6.... Snowy Egret

7.... Flamingos

8.... Brown Pelicans

9.... Little Blue Heron

10... Manatees

11... Green Anoles - I thought these were geckos. They're all over my yard and in my garden.

12... Key Deer -

"Key deer" are restricted to Monroe County, Florida, and

are permanent residents in the following Lower Keys:

Big Pine, Big Torch, Cudjoe, Howe, Little Pine, Little Torch,

Middle Torch, No Name, Sugarloaf, and Summerland.

* Look close, this guy is trying to blend in with the forest.

13... And the weirdest of all... the Florida tourists. Watch out for these strange creatures. Worse, a lot of them wear black socks with their sandals.

Get the Thursday Thirteen code here! The purpose of the meme is to get to know ev eryone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy , and fun! Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

Wednesday, May 07, 2008

Home Sweet Home

I'm back! First, I want to congratulate Amarinda Jones, winner of my Fantasies Contest and the $20.00 Amazon gift certificate. Amarinda, please email me with your email address so I can have it sent to you. We had a great time watching my cousin get married, visiting with family we haven't seen in years, meeting new friends, and just getting away. I've not been away in forever. Sometimes I think the rest of the world's fallen into space and only Florida is left. I don't get out of Florida for years at a time. We're at the bottom of the state and thus we can't just hop over state lines for a quick Sunday drive. This was my first time to visit Port Orange or Daytona Beach, Florida. I liked Port Orange better than Daytona, to tell the truth. We were fascinated, however, by the Drive-In church in Daytona. The computer's not cooperating and letting me upload my pics, so I'll post them soon. My daughters were gorgeous all dressed up and my younger daughter was glowing since she met a really cute guy her age that she danced with all night.

Saturday, March 08, 2008

Radio Free Bliss - Interview with Yours Truly, is live!

Yours truly is the guest interviewee on March's RADIO FREE BLISS podcast with author KS Augustin. We discussed a lot of things - yummy heroes, why we think erotic romance gets a bad name, Alpha Smarts and the wonders (and downfall) of technology, Florida, my books (of course!). In short, we had a very good time. To check it out (and hear my voice), please click on this link: http://radiofreebliss.KSaugustin.com You don't need to download anything as the podcasts can be played from the website, but I've also included MP3 and OGG download options for the more active among us. Let me know what you think! Once again, let me say "Thank you, Kaz! What a great opportunity." And let me give props to Kaz. Y'all visit her website as well. She's one of my awesome fellow authors at www.total-e-bound.com and her books are to-die-for. They're must reads. You can find out more about Kaz and her books here. http://www.ksaugustin.com Onto another topic, have any of you made money from your blogs? Or thought about it? I just found a site called "Pay Per Post" at www.payperpost.com. I just signed up as a "postie". I'm still in the review process. Supposedly, I can earn $ for giving reviews and writing articles about specific merchandise and services which I would occasionally post to my blog. Has anyone tried either this particular service or one like it? What do you think? Supposedly, some people make a living from just blogging. Wow! To think I could stay home and earn a living just writing. What a novel concept. Who'd have thunk???

Sunday, February 24, 2008

I finished the edit


This will be short and sweet tonight. I finished the edit that was due Wednesday (last week) and I turned it in tonight. I'm zonked and all written out for the day, but I feel good to have that done.

Daughter #2 took these pics earlier today on the way to Borders. Unfortunately her phone cam wouldn't zoom in closer. But you can still see the egret, right? I'll try to get more pics of and about town of our local Florida things to post.

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